Is Money Really The Issue?

Why would they borrow the money if they couldn't afford pay you back. Now the arguments begin and then you choose to disassociate yourself from them for a while. If all of this is starting to sound familiar you may find the following of interest. Research has shown in close relationships that money is not normally the real problem in serious relationship situations.
People commonly believe that financial issues are one of the leading causes to rifts in relationships. A study was conducted at the University of California Sacramento that followed 2,000 married couples over the course of 12 years. The results were interesting in every way. There were few couples that stated that their money situation was a problem but very few of these couples ended their relationship in divorce. The other issues in the “stress threshold” were sex and in-laws, but money issues still ranked lower than those. The professor that conducted the research, prof. Jan Anderson, concluded, that when money is an issue that “Money may just be a mask.” covering up the real problems.

Therapists also agree with professor Anderson. Lois Gold, a therapist for the past 20 years, has worked with over 1,200 couples that are in the process of divorce. She has published a book entitled Between Love & Hate: A Guide to Civilized Divorce. When dealing with financial situations, Lois claims that “money can be a vehicle for other kinds of conflict and other kinds of hurt.” She gives the example of a spouse being angry about not getting enough sex and withholding money as a result.

Another fairly common example is inheritances. Inheritances can challenge even the strongest relationships. How many times have you heard this story? Spouse A has a wealthy family but because that family does not like the other spouse (spouse B), they cut off some or all of the money they used to give to Spouse A. This financial problem then begins to place a strain on the relationship as a whole and the relationship ends.

That is when money is more than just money. That is when money becomes a tool, a symbol, a fetish if you will. Thus, money amounts (no pun intended) to something of a complexity of human psychology. Even deep problems like mistrust or resentment can be viewed as stinginess. The next time you are about to get angry over money that was borrowed from you, just take a second to think about the other issues related to that money.

“Your” Money Matters By he From the Author of “From Credit Despair To Credit

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