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Self-Talk is something we do all the time. Through out the day we have a stream of thoughts constantly running through our mind. How many time have you tried to get to sleep at night but can't shut of your racing thoughts about some problem you have?
Do you think Michael Phelps said to himself at the Olympics "I'll never win this race, I'm just too darn slow"? Of course not. Then why do we do it? Before a job interview, we might think to ourself "I'll never get this job... I always do terrible at interviews... It's probably a crappy job anyway... I don't even want it." Is this going to help you get the job? No. Your thoughts and attitude show through to people.
We constantly sabotage our own efforts with this kind of negative self-talk all the time. Just stop doing it. From now on, every time you catch yourself thinking like this, just stop and turn it around. As soon as you get to "It's probably a crappy job anyway", stop and repeat to yourself "I CAN get this job... I have talent and the ability to do this kind of work... I have a great personality and people like me... I'm going to do great at this interview".
Who do you think has the better chance of success in this situation? The hardest part about all this is catching your thoughts before they run away with you. Just practice catching yourself through out the day. The more you practice, the easier it gets!
The very hardest thoughts to catch are angry thoughts. Someone cuts you off in traffic. The next thing you know, you're speeding to catch up with the person so you can ride their bumper. Maybe even get past them and you'll be able to give them the finger. Oh... wouldn't that show them a thing or two. Then for the next half hour you can drive the rest of the way home from work thinking of what you'd say to the person if you got a hold of them. The imaginary argument builds in your head until you see yourself punching the person in the nose and walking away in triumph.
Be honest, you've had these kinds of thoughts before. I know I have. Everyone does. The trick is to catch it before you get too much negative emotion invested in it. The more negative emotion you put into your thoughts, the harder they are to control. Catch it early. The earlier the better.
This is a trick I use to not get mad at other drivers. Someone races by me and cuts me off. I think to myself "Oh well, maybe he just got a phone call that his wife was in an accident and he's on his way to the hospital to see her". I then remember the several times in my life that I forget about the traffic laws to get to my family members who were in trouble or in the hospital.
There are many little tricks like this you can use to change your thought patterns. And we'll be exploring many more of them in future posts. Remember, the more you think a certain way, the stronger and more habitual these thoughts become. If used in a good way it works out to your advantage. Give it a try the next time you want to get angry at another driver and see what happens.
My best to you,
Brad
Brad Bahr is the editor of many health related websites and publications. Visit his blog at www.silentchanges.com to learn how to change your life by changing your thoughts.
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