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Articles in Home | Society | Relationships Title|Newest|Oldest The Endless World Of Relationship Advice  By : Morgan Hamilton There seems to be no limit to the amount of relationship advice that is out there in this day and age. A lot of folks feel insecure about their relationships and from time to time, they need to get help for their relationship woes. Advices on relationships are no longer limited to family and friends because there are many different sources for them these days. Relationship advice can now be found in magazine columns, radio shows, posts on the Internet, and in many other places. Planning The Perfect Valentine's Day  By : Morgan Hamilton Next to the Christmas season, Valentines Day is the second-most popular greeting-card-giving occasion. In fact, Hallmark Cards estimates that over 192 million Valentines Day cards are exchanged every February. Do you have any plans for the fourteenth day of February of the following year? We all trouble in choosing the right remembrance be it a card or a gift for this special day. It has to be something special because the gifts for this occasion are usually given to potential sweethearts. Having a nice dinner with your special someone is one of the best things that can be done on Valentines Day. It is also special for platonic relationships because this occasion is not exclusive for lovers. Many restaurants also have special menus that are dedicated to this occasion. Finding The Perfect 50th Anniversary Gift  By : Morgan Hamilton A few months ago, I received an invitation in the mail. When I examined it, I discovered that it was an invitation to my best friend’s parent’s 50th wedding anniversary party. I have known my best friend and her family for almost 35 years, as a result I have become very close with them. I couldn’t possibly decline an invitation to such an important occasion, but yet the thought of looking for an appropriate 50th anniversary gift didn't excite me at all. I realized that generic presents won’t do for these types of occasions. I gave my RSVP with absolutely no idea on what 50th anniversary gift I would give to my best friend’s wonderful parents. My first option was going to the mall for something special. After a long fruitless search, I was ready to give up. All I can find were the usual candles and picture frames. I mean, what would you choose as a 50th anniversary gift for a couple who has everything they need? I wanted to give such a wonderful couple a special and meaningful present. Fortunately, some co-workers told me that I should try my luck on the World-Wide-Web. Keeping Relationships Fresh And Fun  By : Stacey Moore Something as simple as a dinner date could help spice up a long-term relationship-the key is to treat the night as if it were your first date, all over again. That's the advice from experts who say that couples in long-term relationships often stop trying to impress each other. They suggest dressing up, going to favorite places and pretending each night out is a first date. Rekindle Your Romance Year-round  By : Stacey Moore John, Paul, George and Ringo got it right-all you need is love. But sometimes the hustle and bustle of everyday life forces expressions of that love to fall between the cracks. With demanding schedules and a constant need for speed, Americans today are more on-the-go than ever before, leaving little room for much-needed "R&R" (relationships & romance). But what the Beatles knew all along, Americans are finding harder to remember. According to the "Romance in America" survey, even the most obvious of romantic holidays-birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine's Day-have been forgotten at least once by nearly half (45 percent) of us. When it boils down to Mars vs. Venus, it's Valentine's Day that slips the minds of one in three men (31 percent) and the special "I do" day that one in three women (30 percent) tend to forget. The Power Of The Flower  By : Stacey Moore A new study says what the flower children of the '60s never doubted-flowers make you feel at peace. A behavioral research study conducted by Nancy Etcoff, Ph.D., of Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School, reveals that people feel more compassionate toward others, have less worry and anxiety, and feel less depressed when fresh-cut flowers are present in the home. Sexual Revolutionaries Mature: Baby Boomers Seek Relationship Satisfaction  By : Stacey Moore If you are one of 78 million baby boomers in the U.S.1, you may be hearing a lot about how to become an expert at managing your stock portfolio or your cholesterol, but how good are you at managing your intimate relationship? A new survey conducted by Harris Interactive® and sponsored by Cialis® (tadalafil)2 explores how baby boomers'3 emotional4 and physical intimacy5 has evolved over time. The survey reveals that only half of boomers surveyed are satisfied with the physical intimacy in their relationship, and both sexes (41% men, 43% women) desire more emotional intimacy. 5 Ways To Live In Harmony With People You Don't Like  By : Gabriel Adams - It can be difficult to be in the same room with people you don’t like, let alone live with them. However, there are many circumstances where we really have no choice in the matter, so we have to do our best get along with them or at least to avoid conflict. Here are five tips to help you live in harmony with people you don’t like: 5 Reasons To Choose Abstinence  By : Gabriel Adams - Sex is a one of the most special and beautiful experiences for any couple. It can also be a very emotional experience for men and women. It brings in its wake certain complications and that’s why some people say its best to abstain until you are fully committed or in an adult relationship like marriage. Here are 5 reasons why you should wait until marriage before having sex: The Importance Of Communication Skills In All Areas Of Life  By : Gabriel Adams - Maintaining a good relationship is part of living healthy. Your communication skills are important to maintaining those relationships that help you be healthy. How do you communicate? How often do you communicate? Do you initiate conversation? The people we interact with on a regular basis see you at your best and at your worst. You probably want a healthy overflow of those best moments. Communicating wisely and effectively can help you. Building Relationships As Part Of A Healthy Lifestyle  By : Gabriel Adams - Social interactions are a common thing in our society. They are also a very important part of a balanced and healthy lifestyle. For some people, building relationships is easy. Others find it hard because they are set in their own ways or because they are shy. There are many opportunities to meet people. If you work you will have co-workers to interact with. Most of us have friends from school and family members we are close with. Joining the gym, a club, or donating your time at a charity are all great ways to meet people. Those of us with children meet many people at school activities and sporting events. It is healthy to have many different types of relationships. We all know some people just by routine such as the mailman and the clerk at the convenient store. We also develop casual acquaintances with large amounts of people. Most of us only have a small circle of very close friends we hold dear to our heart. The secret to having good relationships is sharing yourself with others. It is also about give and take. Treat others as you want them to treat you. Relationships are also about communication and sharing, both the good and the bad times in our lives. Valentine’s Day Cards: Finding The Perfect One  By : Gabriel Adams - Finding the perfect Valentine’s Day card can take time. There are plenty to choose from, but for that special someone you want the card to be perfect from the cover to the writing style to what the words have to say. The isles of Valentine’s Day cards can get crowded in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, so try to search for your card early. This will give you plenty of time to read through them without fighting the crowd. Valentine’s Day cards come in many colors and sizes. I have seen some very small ones that fit into a wallet. These are a great way to surprise the man in your life. Slip one into his wallet and when he opens it on Valentine’s Day, he will find it waiting for him. Most are the standard card size. There are some that are so huge, you have to open them on a table top! Special Occasion Gifts With A Creative Twist  By : Gabriel Adams - Whether it’s a house-warming gift for friends or family, congratulations on a new marriage, baby or job, achievement in sports, scholastics, or the workplace, these are the special occasions that warrant the perfect gift for acknowledging such an event. And depending on the recipient, you can find something for every situation and personality because special occasion gifts range from the simple to the ‘over-the-top’ – there is a vast selection of distinctive offerings to choose from, for all age groups as well. Consider This There are the reliable standbys that include gift certificates, trophies, baskets filled with food or household, cute or romantic items. But let’s look at a few of the more ‘intriguing’ special occasion gifts that are out there. How To Choose The Perfect Special Occasion Gift  By : Gabriel Adams - When it's that time to think of others and buy a gift, we ironically often make the mistake of thinking about ourselves! Don't believe us? Just think about the last time that you bought a special occasion gift for a family member, friend, neighbor, or co-worker. Did you worry what kind of impression the gift would give about you? Were you concerned whether the gift looked expensive enough and gave the impression that you spent a lot of money? How about the last time you received a gift? What was that person thinking?! Christmas Cards At The Click Of A Button  By : Gabriel Adams - Christmas is a time of year that we all enjoy. But, Christmas can also be a stressful time. There are so many things to do! Thank goodness, most stores will gift-wrap for you! One little job that can be hectic is sending Christmas cards. If you are “organized” like me, you probably have your little list that you pull out each year. People move and addresses change, and the simple task of sending a tiny card in the mail can become a monster! Myspace Graphics- Perfect To Express Love  By : CD Mohatta For a person in love myspace is a great boon. It offers many variations of exchanging love notes. You can express your love publicly and keep the competition away. Many a times when you are dating a person, your friends may not be aware of that. A look at your profile is enough to tell them about your love life. Out of many ways of expressing love on myspace, one can choose flash scrollers, comment generators, graphics, flash comments, photo frames and so on. The simplest method is of course to write a comment yourself in your beloved's profile. Out of all these methods, love graphics score the best. Let me tell you how? Myspace Comments For Valentine- How To Choose?  By : CD Mohatta Valentine's day is coming nearer. As the day approaches, everybody who wants to share love is thinking of ideas about gifts, cards, celebration, and myspace comments. Believe me, for those who are active on myspace there is nothing more precious than to look for good comments to send to their beloved. Let me tell you how to chose the myspace comments for Valentine's Day. Myspace Valentine Comment Design Selection- Quiz- Is Your Relationship Collapsing?  By : CD Mohatta I never expected that I would one day hate the person I loved so much. We were very happy. I do not know what happened, but suddenly our relationship collapsed. This is heart breaking. I do not know what to do, or think? I am going numb with stress. You will hear some such talk from people who have a collapsing relationship. Could they not guess that the end was near? Like a building, a relationship does not crash suddenly. It weakens over time. Periodic check up can stop this. Let us quiz on how to find out. Quiz your past- Quiz- Is Your Partner Reliable?  By : CD Mohatta Reliability of our partner is a primary concern for all of us. It is not only in cheating in relationship but also in wider perspective. If you lose your job for a long time, will your partner stay with you or leave you? Can you rely on your partner? Quiz yourself. Quiz your partner's basic values. Is your partner an opportunist? Suppose you are with your partner out for shopping. He/she like s something and promises the sales person that he/she would purchase that after visiting few other shops. In another shop the same thing is available for a smaller price. What does your partner do? Does she/he go back to the earlier shop and ask them to match the price? Do they keep the promise even at the higher price? Or do they just buy at the smaller price and forget all about the promise? This may look and sound something very trivial, but character is always seen in the smallest instances. Friendship- When Times Are Bad A Friend Is Like God  By : CD Mohatta Most of us do not care much about friendship except casual meeting, holidaying together or common celebrations. But when a person goes through bad times, a friend helps like god. He/she may not help with money but sometimes the situation is so bad that it becomes difficult to have someone who will hear about what we go through. A friend helps at such a crucial time. Let us talk more about this. When we go through a bad patch in life sometimes the phase is over quickly. But sometimes the bad patch stretches so long that we lose the ability to fight and develop suicidal tendencies. The fight goes away out of us and we feel nothing but total depression and helpless. We lose faith in everybody including us and become afraid about what more can happen. That time we need a friend. Talking to a friend sin such a situation makes us feel that we are not alone. Secondly a friend reminds us about our abilities. The friend who is not directly affected can still look at the picture in whole and suggest solutions. The value of a friend at such time is much more than any treasure Quiz- Do You Work On Your Relationship?  By : CD Mohatta Do you quiz yourself about your relationship? Do you question yourself and your partner about all the aspects of the relationships and what is satisfying and what is not? Do you work on your relationship? To have a relationship that works, one has to work. Most of us take a relationship for granted once we reach a certain level of intimacy. We assume that we are regular partners. We forget to work on the rough edges and that dooms the relationship to our surprise. Quiz yourself about the similarities and differences between both of you. Similarities will not hurt the relationship but differences will surely damage. There may be many differences between both of you. Your value systems may be different. Your political beliefs may be different. Your ideas about the future may be different. She/he might be looking forward to a childfree marriage where as you might be planning for a home full of children. Your finanicial planning may be different. One may believe in saving while other overspends. Will the joint account work? Quiz Your Friendship- Can Your Friends Count On You?  By : CD Mohatta Quiz your friendship personality: Friendship is one of the greatest relationships, isn't it? True friends do not hesitate giving their lives for their friend's benefit. We have heard stories of great friendships since childhood. What about you? Do you think you are a good friend? Are you friendly? If you believe that you are friendly, why do you think that? Did you take any feedback from your friends about this? Or this is your impression? Sometimes we think and believe that we are very friendly, while our friends have different ideas. We change and improve only after we ask our friends. Let us quiz ourselves about our friendship personality and find out if our friends can count on us. Let us become self-critic for a moment. Friendship Day- Do You Need Friends?  By : CD Mohatta Friendship day is coming nearer. That makes many of us wonder about our friends and our relation with them. Do you nee friends? If yes, why? Why do you need friends? You have your work, some family members, and entertainment. What else do you need to live comfortably? Cheating In Love - Should You Tell Your Partner Or Not?  By : CD Mohatta Cheating is considered unpardonable. Everybody takes cheating by the partner very seriously. But most of us cheat at one or the other time -if not physically then emotionally. What if you cheated on your partner in a momentary lapse and are now very much regretting it. Should you tell your partner or not? Love Can Not Be Lost- Are You Getting Cheated - Try This Quiz  By : CD Mohatta So you think that your partner might be cheating you? Why do you think that? Why not try this small quiz and find out the truth? A quiz is always very helpful in finding the truth. The quiz questions are simple such as- Does your partner not love you? Does he/she not share the expenses? Do they look at others and try to give flirting signs even if they are with you? Are they keeping relations with their ex even now? Or is it just a felling that you are being cheated either physically or emotionally? Let us take this quiz and find the truth. Quiz sixth sense- Quiz The Strength Of Your Relationship  By : CD Mohatta I read a post by a girl that she had an ideal relationship for more than three years. The boyfriend had initiated the relationship and wanted them to commit to each other forever. One day suddenly he came up and said that he liked another girl. After some days he said that he was no more seeing the other new girl and wanted to continue with the old love. This behavior has confused this girl and she wanted to know about the strength of her relationship. Have you quizzed yourself about the strength of your relationship? Quiz your Love- to begin with quiz your love for each other. Write some questions about your mutual attraction and find out the answers of both of you. Do you love him/her more or less compared to the beginning? Does he/she irritate you now? Do you care for each other? Quiz about all the aspects of love. Miss You Ecards- Use Them To Refresh The Relationship  By : CD Mohatta Yesterday, I was reading a post by a boy who said that though he broke-up eight years ago, he has not forgotten his girl. He still dreams of being withier child and living together. This boy has dated many girls during these eight years, but the lost love refuses to go away. He wanted to know about what he should do. I advised him in that forum to go back to his love, though many others said that he should forget. This boy is not alone in this predicament. Many of us break-up for small reasons and are inconsolable afterwards. We try many ways to forget, but fail. Miss you ecards are a great help to such people. Are we not missing our real love? Yes, we do, but we try to hide that fact from ourselves and keep a smiling exterior. Our body and heart misses our real love, but we do not know how to approach our love again. Relationships- Why Do You Have A Partner?  By : CD Mohatta From what one reads in forums on relationships, it seems that most of the relationships manage to give more pain than joy after some time. The rise in divorce rates is an indicator to this. Why have relationship if that will give more pain than pleasure to both the partners? Do not you also ask this question? It is becoming so difficult to keep a healthy relationship that one feels that he/she is coming from one office to another office. Where is the home with freedom, acceptance and love? Relationships are becoming ego problems. Communication needs to be guarded. Wishes have to be taken care of. Sacrifices have to be made. Individuality has to be killed. Compromises have to be made at every step. Even after making many compromises, the relationship may break. One feels broken after making so much effort and find that nothing was of any use. It seems that either most of us are getting caught up with wrong partners or the break-ups occur very fast. Relationships - Please Give Your Head An Opportunity To Decide  By : CD Mohatta Relationships in the early phase of formation are guided by heart and physical attraction and needs. How many of us give a chance to our head to decide whether we will relate to a person using our head? Very few of us do that. This irrational process continues for long and may be cause of suffering in some relationships. Please give your head a chance to decide about relationship and about whether it should continue. Infatuation decides many relationships. You see some one and decide that you want that person. You do not reason at all about why you want that person. I read many posts about teenagers saying that I saw that boy and girl and I want to relate. Why do you want to relate with a person by only looking at him/her? Will that relationship give pleasure or pain? In many instances, it gives pleasure. The love at first sight relationship may go on for life, but many times, it may lead to pain. If head were given a choice in selection of the partner, this would not have happened. Relationships - But I Never Meant That  By : CD Mohatta Communication is the key to any relationship. With bad communication, problems crop up at unexpected places. This is a classical case. I am feeling very hurt because of what you said. When did I say that? Two days back. But I never meant that. I do not know what you meant, but it has been hurting me since then. Oh, I am sorry. I genuinely never meant that. Why did you not ask me then and there? I was very hurt to ask. Oh, I am very sorry. What you say can make a big difference to your relationship. How will the listener know what you mean? The listener only picks up your words and makes interpretation. Choosing right words while communicating is important. If you know about your partners sensitivities about a subject, you have to be very careful while talking even in jest. Your tone has to be perfect and you have to be careful while speaking. You never know when you will hurt your partners feelings. This communication care is very important if the relationship is already going bad and you wish to save it. Relationship - Know Your Partners Values Beforehand  By : CD Mohatta We acquire our values from different sources. In the beginning our values are given to us by our parents. Speak truth, help others, do this and do not do that and things like that. After sometime, we get more values in our education. We read about values of great people and try to live by some of them. Our religion gives us many values. How to live, what is right, what is wrong and what is allowed, what is not allowed are some values that we get from the religion? Today if you observe the difference between pro and anti abortion lobbies, you will find a values conflict. In your relationship, have you found out values of your partner? Have you spelled out your values? Values are dear to us. For some of us, values are very dear. It is found that some people even give away their life to safe guard their values. Such value contradiction can play havoc with your relationship. Some of us sympathize with poor and try to help them, while others opine that poor need not be helped, as it is their karma that is giving them this pain. Let them suffer. This singular value difference can kill your relationship, if you both are not ready to compromise on them. Love - Do Not Let Romantic Love Die  By : CD Mohatta Love and relationship based on love has many stages. The phase of romantic love does not last long. It is the most pleasant phase of the relationship and unfortunately, it passes very soon. The joy is short lived. After this phase comes the phase of mature understanding that may lead to lot of bickering and split amongst many. Why allow that phase to come at all. Or why let romantic love die at all? Can we not continue that phase forever? Let us find out. In the phase of romantic love, the lovers feel very passionate about each other. They want to be together. They want to make each other happy. Their only objective is to enjoy the romance, send love notes to each other and enjoy the bliss of romance. After sometime, this phase passes away because of ego, relationship misunderstandings, expectations and other life problems that become more prominent. Can we not stretch the romantic love forever? Experience says that it is not possible, but some exceptions are there. why not follow the exceptions? Let us see how. Relationship- Men Also Get Abused By Women  By : CD Mohatta Emotional and physical abuse is believed to be only for women. Men are the abusers and women the victims. Do not women abuse men? Yes they do get abused and mercilessly. A woman can be brutal when it comes to blames and accusations. She can invent many lies and kill the soul of the man with every sentence she speaks. She may not abuse the man physically, but her emotional abuse may be enough to drive a man to lunacy. I do not know why the abuse is considered to be prerogative of men? Is it because they are considered the stronger sex? What about emotional strength? Some men are very soft and especially when they deal with a woman, they act more softly. The woman wants to abuse the man will have no such compunctions. She can raise her voice, she can use crying, she can corner the man with all her blames because she wants to hurt him. She succeeds because a good man will not retaliate. Relationship - Sacrificing Values Can Not Save It  By : CD Mohatta Every relationship demands sacrifices. Every relationship demands adjustment. It is give and take all the way. Some call it compromise. Others call it negotiation of needs. Whatever you call it, the truth is that we accept what our partner wants despite our being against it and vice versa many times. We all have our values. There are certain principals by which we live. We have acceptable and non-acceptable adjustments. Ask a green activist to adjust to killing of whales. He/she would never do that. That is unacceptable to them. That goes against their value. Similarly for some people any extra marital love is totally unacceptable. If they find out that their spouse was involved in one, the relationship may break. It is simple - I will never compromise on this set of values that I cherish. Relationship - Do Not Blame Me For The Mess?  By : CD Mohatta I have spoken about various games we play in relationships. The games that are mostly negative drain the relationship of its charm and effectively kill all the love and care that partners can have for each other. Here is one more such game that is played in relationships. It is called - please I am not at fault. Do not blame me. Or tell me what I shall do, and I will do that. Unsaid part- you know very well that I will never do what you advise, but blame you after everything fails. Partners who have been lucky to get a partner who tolerates a lot generally play this game. In this relationship The game playing partner knows that all will be tolerated and the poor partner will try his/her best to set things right. Why should I bother at all? These are lazy partners. These are dishonest partners. These are destructive partners. They can extract life away from a charming individual and make him/her feel guilty and helpless for no fault. They destroy the relationship. Quiz Your Listening - Are You A Failure In Relating?  By : CD Mohatta Many relationships would be saved if the partners had listened to each other. Many relationships would have been broken quite early if the partners had listened? And that would have been good. What use is a relationship that only prolongs the pain? What is listening? Why not quiz yourself about your listening and find out? Let me interrupt you for a second and ask you-are you reading this without any distraction? Is your mind totally focused on what you are reading? Are you not thinking of anything else? Are you drawing your own conclusions before finishing reading? Are you peaceful and reflecting upon what is being said and why? Sadly, this is not true for a large majority and that is our failure. Quiz Your Friendships - Who Is Playing Games?  By : CD Mohatta Game playing is as old as civilization. Positive games enhance the relationship, while negative games can damage the relationship. Let me give you an example of positive game. You know that one of your friends is suffering from inferiority. You play the game of appreciating him/her at every opportunity. This can help your friend regain self-esteem. This game playing is good. Most of the positive games are played consciously, while a majority of negative games are played subconsciously. Let us talk about one of them. I am better than you and others. This game is played at two levels. I am better at one level and you all have some deficiencies at the other level. Those who need to get self-esteem play this game. They have a very low self esteem and need to prove that they are good. The only way they find is in putting down others and raising ones profile. Quiz - Are You And Your Spouse Best Friends?  By : CD Mohatta Lot of discussion takes place about the difference between friendship and marriage. Two good friends marry at times. But what about married partners, do they become good friends? What are the qualities of friendship that are not found in a marriage ideally every married couple should be best friend of each other. They should share all their secrets, their problems, their laughter and their joy with each other. There is one vital difference between friendship and marriage. A marriage is a legal binding and breaking a marriage takes much more than a friendship. This is the reason that most of us are unguarded about our friendships. There is not much at risk. In marriage the risk is very high. Therefore if the relationship gets little strained, the partners get worried and try to find ways out of the crack. Love Quiz - Are Your Values Same As Your Partner?  By : CD Mohatta We all have many faults. All of us are also striving to live by our values. Values such as honesty, loving, compassion, mercy, and others that have been taught to us since our childhood and that we respect drive many of our actions. Unfortunately with the degradation in social values, personal values are also falling. That apart, the discussion is about the values that you respect and the values that your partner respects-are they common? This question and the answer to this question may well decide the future of your relationship. Let me give you an example. Suppose you believe that small lying or cheating to further your cause is not bad and is acceptable to you. Your partner strongly believes that nothing wrong should be ever done. Will this conflict in values not produce a conflict in relationship, because we live by our values? Those who believe in talking liberty with values may not get that hurt, but those who believe in living by their values at every step can not dream of braking their values for anyone. This produces a value conflict. Forgiving In Relationships  By : CD Mohatta In real life, law rarely forgives any wrong act. In most of the countries law is clear about punishment. We still hear a lot about forgiving in personal relationships. We are told to forgive the major blunders. We are asked to forgive and forget and continue living as if nothing happened. Does that work? To some extent yes, and to some extent no. Most of us who have been hurt in relationship do not wish to forgive at all. The result is that we suffer from the pain all our life. We are advised to forgive so that at least we can feel peaceful. If we do not forgive, our own peace is lost forever and we suffer. Forgiveness is for us. To forgive does not always mean that the abuser can continue with the same behavior. You need not tell the abuser that you have forgiven him/her. Let them suffer for what they did. But by forgiving in your own mind, you get peace. Ecards Can Enhance Your Relationships  By : CD Mohatta We are all looking for ways to keep our relationships strong. We also look for ways to improve the quality of the relationship. The problem is our busy schedule, our priorities and our daily stresses. How to devote minimum time and enhance relationship? Ecards can do that. Let me show you how? What are the normal communications you use with your partner? Suppose your partner is depressed, how much time do you give to her/him to improve the mood? Not much, am I right? Why not send five to six inspirational ecards from your workplace as soon as you get time. Your partner will know that you are worried and also get over the depression by thinking about your concern and getting inspired with the ecards. Break-ups And Guilt  By : CD Mohatta How many break-ups also result in feelings of guilt amongst partners? Please take care of guilt before you break-up. Guilt can be a very damaging feeling and can make any life hell. Those who are full of guilt undergo lot of pain asking for forgiveness everywhere, but fail to forgive themselves. Why guilt? Guilt comes if you have done any wrong that has not been corrected. If you have done wrongs with your partner and refuse to acknowledge them before break-up that will be very painful afterwards. Let me tell you something. Most of us never believe that we have done any wrong. As time passes we realize our wrongs and by that time all is lost. The feelings of guilt therefore take over after that and make life impossible. Break-ups And Guilt  By : CD Mohatta How many break-ups also result in feelings of guilt amongst partners? Please take care of guilt before you break-up. Guilt can be a very damaging feeling and can make any life hell. Those who are full of guilt undergo lot of pain asking for forgiveness everywhere, but fail to forgive themselves. Why guilt? Guilt comes if you have done any wrong that has not been corrected. If you have done wrongs with your partner and refuse to acknowledge them before break-up that will be very painful afterwards. Let me tell you something. Most of us never believe that we have done any wrong. As time passes we realize our wrongs and by that time all is lost. The feelings of guilt therefore take over after that and make life impossible. Quiz- Are You Making These Mistakes In Your Relationship?  By : CD Mohatta Most of us suffer from relationship failure. The tragic truth is that even after suffering from bad relationships, many of us continue the same behavior with the new relationship. Are you doing that? What about your current relationship? Do you think it will succeed or will fail? Let us quiz and find out if you are making mistakes in relationship? Quiz- are you in hurry? Not giving enough time to the relationship to develop love. Expecting results too soon and then getting frustrated. Understanding each other and developing liking for each other takes time. That needs enough interactions to find out more about each other and developing love. Hurrying with this will be premature. Relationship - Will I Get Appreciation Also?  By : CD Mohatta Did I do everything wrong? Did I only destroy? Did I always trouble you? Did I never love you? Was I that bad? Then why did you fall in love with me? Who did all that you used to appreciate? Who was so good that you loved it all the time? Who was that person? Thoughts that hammer our mind when the relationship gives only blame. One remembers that he/she also did something good for the relationship. But as the relationship deteriorates, one partner takes it upon himself/herself to blame mercilessly. The same partner was all appreciation some months back, and the same partner has nothing good to say about the relationship. This is nothing but abuse. This is emotional abuse made to drive a sensible person lunatic. Blame them so much that they are left with no energy to retaliate. The relationship at this stage is maintained only to abuse. If the abuser breaks it totally, whom will she/he accuse and abuse? So they continue with the relationship. They are intoxicated with their sadism. Relationship - Will I Get Appreciation Also?  By : CD Mohatta Did I do everything wrong? Did I only destroy? Did I always trouble you? Did I never love you? Was I that bad? Then why did you fall in love with me? Who did all that you used to appreciate? Who was so good that you loved it all the time? Who was that person? Thoughts that hammer our mind when the relationship gives only blame. One remembers that he/she also did something good for the relationship. But as the relationship deteriorates, one partner takes it upon himself/herself to blame mercilessly. The same partner was all appreciation some months back, and the same partner has nothing good to say about the relationship. This is nothing but abuse. This is emotional abuse made to drive a sensible person lunatic. Blame them so much that they are left with no energy to retaliate. The relationship at this stage is maintained only to abuse. If the abuser breaks it totally, whom will she/he accuse and abuse? So they continue with the relationship. They are intoxicated with their sadism. Relationship Quiz- Is The Honeymoon Over?  By : CD Mohatta There comes a stage in love relationship when the relations mature to a certain level. The initial attraction and knowing about each other is finished. The romance slowly gives way to living with each other and taking the relationship ahead. This phase is fraught with many obstacles as are all the others phases of romantic relationships. The biggest problem after the honeymoon is over is to see the real person. Till the honeymoon is in progress, the lovers make their own image of their beloved. After the honeymoon is over, they get to see the real person. Let us talk about this phase. This is the phase of facing reality. The dream is over and the relationship enters a different phase. Both the lovers want to impose their will on each other. They do not give in easily to each other, but fight for their own point of view. What was once a very sweet voice now becomes a shrill demand. Blames are made and shocking changes occur in the affair. Relationship Quiz - Do You Know About Your Partners Mind?  By : CD Mohatta I was watching him. Sometimes, he was giving a faint smile. Then he started looking at the ceiling and then started changing his feet position while sitting. After that he was sitting still for some more time. Then he got up and left the room. Do you also observe your partner carefully? What do you know about what might be going in his/her mind? Can you predict about her/his thoughts? Many of us believe that we know about our partners and that we are very close. But if your partner sits across you and thinks of something with matching body movements, would you be able to guess about what was in his/her mind? I bet, most of you will fail. I feel very sad saying this, but the truth is that most of us will fail. Why do not you ask your partner to predict about what is in your mind? You will find out yourself. This is tragic for our relationships. Let me tell you how. Relationship Quiz- Are You Angry At Your Partner?  By : CD Mohatta Anger is the natural reaction of helplessness and frustration. When we feel that we are being forced to suffer, we get either angry or feel very helpless. When we feel victimized, we get angry with our abuser. What about your relationship? Are you getting angry with your partner for any reason? Can we quiz on that? Anger with partner can be for various reasons. Your partner has overspent and it has turned your budget haywire. You now feel helpless about how to manage the finances. Your natural reaction is anger at your partner. Why did she/he do this? Relationships - When Love Is Lost?  By : CD Mohatta Watch a cloud in the sky. It seems stationary. Slowly it moves and after sometime, without our realizing, that cloud is gone. Sometimes love disappears from a relationship like that cloud. When the relationship begins, everything looks ok. The communication is great. Not only verbal but also non-verbal communication between the partners is excellent. Slowly the rot sets in and there come a time when they stop communicating except when needed. The communication becomes need based. Earlier it was love based. What is the difference between need based and love based communication? Quiz Your Relationship- Is It Happy And Healthy  By : CD Mohatta We are social animals. We need to relate to others for various reasons; we cannot exist alone happily. We need others to compare, share, give and take and feel together. We make relationships primarily to satisfy our emotional and physical needs. What about the health of the relationship? Is your relationship happy and healthy? In healthy relationship, both the partners are themselves. They keep that freedom with themselves. Freedom is a very important aspect. In a relationship that involves abuse, the abuser takes this freedom away. That is why any abuse makes the relationship very unhealthy. Quiz Your Relationship  By : CD Mohatta You are getting attracted. You think about him/her. You want to be with your object of love. You are showing all the signs of being in love. But is it love? Or is it infatuation that will go away after some time? Let us examine this in little more detail. What is the difference between love and infatuation? The first difference is that infatuation is short lived. It disappears soon. How will you test it? Think about all the qualities that are making you fall in this love. Now think of another person. Imagine that the new candidate has all the qualities in greater measure. Think deeply and imagine as much as you can. Are you still in love, or you are shifting your allegiance to the new candidate? Relationship - Are You Sacrificing More  By : CD Mohatta No relationship is equal give and take. In every relationship, both the partners make adjustments to make the relationship a success. Both give up many choices in life and try to contribute for the continuation of the relationship. Sacrifices are always called for in a healthy relationship. The relationship thrives on them. When we sacrifice we feel good because we feel worthy. Having given up something always makes us feel good. It can also make us feel bad, if it goes on from one side and the other partner not even acknowledges that. The resentment sets in to the detriment of the relationship. Why Sacrifice- two people cannot relate and live together peacefully, if they set their own conditions of living. They have to draw a common way and sacrifice their own hobbies, interests, and many other interests. Many adjustments have to be made to make a relationship succeed. Relationship - In Love With A Married Person  By : CD Mohatta I have seen this topic in many forums being discussed heatedly. The scenario is thus. Somebody is in love with a married man/woman. The married person is also in love with our man/woman. But does not want to give away the marriage. What should be done? Those who fall in love with a married person get trapped. That is the trap of dishonesty. Such relationships will never be happy. The married person is having dual commitments and is hiding his love from his/her spouse. What use is that marriage? The thought that I am cheating my spouse is enough to kill all the joy. Dishonesty never gives joy. How Open Are You With Your Beloved?  By : CD Mohatta I have read it at many places that why tell your beloved about your past? That may spoil your present relationship. Let me present my thoughts to this. If we are not totally honest and open with our beloved, that means we are not sure about our relationship. That means that we do not have confidence in each other. That means that the relationship is fragile. Why talk about such relationship, which is still fragile. Such a relationship will break for some or other reason. A strong relationship can take any storm. Ina strong relationship, we are ready for some disagreement but know that ultimately things will be same as before. It is like a child ho has got totally soiled. Mother may scold the child but it will be same as before within half an hour. That is a strong relationship. Relationship - Have You Forgotten Your Desires To Keep Your Partner Happy?  By : CD Mohatta I used to paint when I was young. I was a dancer. I loved hiking. I loved outdoor sports and so it goes on. I used to be is the common theme. I have forgotten about all that, because my partner does not like that? Or our relationship much more demand? Or my partner demands more than I do? Or my partner does not care about my hobbies? Many relationships destroy a persons desires. This problem has to be looked at from the point of both the partners. Women are anyway expected to give up more to look after family. If her husband is callous about her satisfaction of doing what she wants the situation becomes worse for her. Many budding talents are not allowed to grow because of the sacrifice their relationship demands. This depends on the partners attitude. If the partner understands, he/she will find ways to help other realize the dreams and fulfill desires. If the partner is self-centered, this will not happen. Love - Are You Similar To Each Other?  By : CD Mohatta How similar are you with your partner? Agreed that both of you are in love, and enjoy each other's togetherness. You like each other and want to live together till you die. You may say that you love him/her with your body and soul. What about similarities between both of you? Is your love result of these similarities? Or despite few similarities you love each other? Similarities affect relationship to some extent and are important to discuss. Work interest - Do you have common work interest? Are you qualified in the same stream? or your work interests are different? Common work interests lead to better understanding, but this is not very important. Relationship - Test If You Are Feeling Crushed  By : CD Mohatta Is your relationship becoming uncomfortable? Are you no longer enjoying the relationship? Do you not understand what might be going wrong, but you can sense it? You are not happy, but cannot pin point the cause of unhappiness. You want to get away from the relationship but are arguing for and against and getting tired of the whole thing. This is a typical; sign of getting crushed and facing confusion in the relationship. Let us discuss more about how this happens. I will give one example- your partner is with you. Your partner is not contributing any positives to the relationship. She/he keeps complaining that you are the cause of their unhappiness and discomfort. You wonder how when the ball is in the other court? She/he does not understand what ever you are trying to communicate. You get angry and try to explain again only to get further frustrated. If you talk of separation you are told that they will not be able to live alone. They want to be with you. Get all the comforts from you. They care nothing about your comfort. They blame you for everything that goes wrong. They understand no communication or act as if they don't understand. You want to run away from it all, but they make you feel guilty of doing something terribly wrong by that. You simply do not know what to do and are at your wits end. You feel crushed. Relationship Test - Are You Happier Being Alone?  By : CD Mohatta Many of us are of the types who are happy being alone. If such persons enter into any relationship it will invariably fail. Such loners want to be left alone and want no responsibility of others nor want others to take any responsibility of their. Are you one of them? Have you thought about this? Let us find out more. What are the main characteristics of such people? The first is total independence. They want total independence both at home and even at work. They may leave many jobs unless they find one where no one bothers them. They want to live at home on their own terms. They dislike being told by anyone about how things should be done. Their self-esteem does not permit this. They cannot develop healthy relationships because they never tell others about what should be done. They never bother about how others perform nor want to get tied up with one person. They feel very uncomfortable if they have to do that. Relationship Test - Are You Continuing Without Pleasure?  By : CD Mohatta A relationship should be like a flowing river. Fresh, moving around and finding ways around obstacles. Enjoying a relationship should never be like a still pond of water that just exists. A relationship should have life and should never be a compromise. But many relationships become like a pond. They began like river but are now stationary wondering where to go, and whether to exist at all. But they continue existing without any pleasure. The main reason is the inability of partners to face the uncertainty of breaking the relationship. Relationship Test - Are You Continuing Without Pleasure?  By : CD Mohatta A relationship should be like a flowing river. Fresh, moving around and finding ways around obstacles. Enjoying a relationship should never be like a still pond of water that just exists. A relationship should have life and should never be a compromise. But many relationships become like a pond. They began like river but are now stationary wondering where to go, and whether to exist at all. But they continue existing without any pleasure. The main reason is the inability of partners to face the uncertainty of breaking the relationship. Relationship Test - Are You Continuing Without Pleasure?  By : CD Mohatta A relationship should be like a flowing river. Fresh, moving around and finding ways around obstacles. Enjoying a relationship should never be like a still pond of water that just exists. A relationship should have life and should never be a compromise. But many relationships become like a pond. They began like river but are now stationary wondering where to go, and whether to exist at all. But they continue existing without any pleasure. The main reason is the inability of partners to face the uncertainty of breaking the relationship. Friendship Test- Do Friends Love Talking To You?  By : CD Mohatta You must be having a large group of friends. You also deal with many people in your job or business. You interact with people at every stage of your life. Do you find that you love talking to one person and avoid talking to another? You must have noticed that. What is the difference between these two persons? Why do you enjoy talking to one of them and avoid talking to another? What about yourself? Have you thought about that? We enjoy talking to people who have the following qualities - Love Test - Are You Getting Attracted To Another Person?  By : CD Mohatta Let us look at a scenario. You are in love and you have progressed in relationship. Both of you are happy with each other and plan to think of future. And a third person enters your life. You are in love with that person. You find animal magnetism in that new entrant and feel quite helpless. You wish to break up with your old flame and develop relationship with the new. You are getting confused about what you should do? This is not very unusual. Many marriages have been broken because of this. Many relationships got destroyed because of this. The failure to understand what is happening and the failure of right judgment may leave both the earlier partners destroyed. Let us look at this situation in detail and discuss the options. Relationship- Will You Grow Together Till Old Age?  By : CD Mohatta In today's age for a couple to think of growing together till old age looks difficult. The rate at which divorces are taking place and couples separate, it is a difficult task. This was not so, only two three decades ago. The changing norms have taken a big toll on the relationships. How about you? Do you believe that you will grow together till old age? The determination that we would not separate may play a big role. Once you have decided the goal - no separating, you will act towards achieving that goal. Please make this bond with your partner that you will not separate. I wish to add something here. When things are going smoothly, all such promises sound very good. As soon as a crack appears, the same looks very difficult. The need is to take care when the cracks appear. Good Relationships Accelerate Our Growth  By : CD Mohatta A relationship means two people connecting with each other - In profit and in loss, in pleasure and in pain. In a relationship, we know that we have somebody with us. We are not alone. A relationship can be life giving and life changing. Many times in our life, we want to achieve some goals. We have our dreams and our ideas. We never reveal them to anyone. But if we relate to somebody very well, we will tell about this to that person. If our relationship is good, we will get support and encouragement. Please go ahead. I think you are very intelligent and you can do this. You have the capability. I will be with you at every step. Are Friends Happy Being With You?  By : CD Mohatta We all have different style of talking, laughing, smiling, responding and communicating. Some of us are a comfort for others. We enjoy being with some people and we don’t enjoy some people. What is the difference between these persons? Why one persons presence enlivens the gathering an other person dulls it? What are the qualities needed to make one self socially popular? Smile -The very first quality is smile. When we see some body smiling, we feel pleased. And if the smile is without any malice it is more enchanting. Keep smiling. Keep your problems with yourself and keep your face smiling. Why Lovers Hurt Their Beloved Most?  By : CD Mohatta A lover, who claims to love, can never hurt his/her beloved. Love demands that you care utmost for your beloved. You are concerned about their feelings. You make them as comfortable as possible. You keep them as happy as possible. You help them fulfill their dreams. You encourage them during tough times and you are always there for them. If you don't do this, there will be nothing called as love. The definition of love includes the qualities I mentioned. This does happen. In many relationships it happens all through the life. Such couples need not worry to know about heaven. Their home is heaven. But in some relationships, if a lover wishes to break away for any reason including feelings of being treated unjust, the results will be harrowing. Do You Have Faith In Your Partner?  By : CD Mohatta Faith is one of the biggest assets. Most of us have faith in God. That means that we always believe that god will help us whenever we call on him. That God will be always support us. That god loves us and wants us to grow. God will never leave us alone. This faith is the greatest strengths of many of us. What about your partner? Do you have this kind of faith in him/her? Many will answer that I have that faith in my partner. That is good. At least they have that faith. Many of you will not be sure about the answer and quite many know that they cannot have faith in their partner. Does your partner have faith in you? Why don't you ask this question and find out the answer? Please ask him/her - Darling, suppose I have someone else in my life for a short time and then come to you and confess will our relations remain the same? Will you forgive me and forget what I did and accept me? Will we be together as we are today? The answer may differ from person to person, but you will rarely find a partner who accepts this. Relationship Renewal  By : CD Mohatta Relationship renewal day will be celebrated on 4th May. This is the day to renew and bring new freshness in relationships. What does this mean? Why do relationships go dull and bad some times? Can bad relationships be renewed? Let us talk about all these. Most of the relationships go through phases. In the beginning the relationship is full of care and love. The partners/spouses show extreme love and concern for each other. Till then they have not found out the differences. They crop up after some time. There are few ways the difference crop up. One may be expectations. The other may be- I am being used complex. The third may be- probably we are not right for each other. Let us find out how to bring a new life to the relationship that is suffering because of the problems I mentioned and other problems. How To Make A Relationship Last?  By : CD Mohatta For a relationship to last, there are few basic requirements. The rapidity with which relationships are breaking in the modern days is a matter of concern and we should try to find out how to make a relationship that lasts for a long time. The major factors that affect the survival of a relationship are as below - Selection Of Partner - Sometimes, our selection of partner may be wrong. We may have nothing in common and our values and goals may be very different. With bad selection from the beginning, no relationship can survive for long. One of the main reasons of wrong partner selection may be hurry in selection of partner and inattention to the true nature of the selected partner. Test If Your Love Will Stand Rough Spots?  By : CD Mohatta After the initial euphoria of love gets over, lovers start thinking about what troubles them. For example, your partner may always be coming late to meet you. you never told him/her about that till now. You feel that now you must tell, because you cannot bear waiting every time. You are troubled by a habit of your darling. But that was always ignored in the initial euphoria of knowing each other and developing relationship. You want to point out about that habit now. Test If Your Love Will Stand Rough Spots?  By : CD Mohatta After the initial euphoria of love gets over, lovers start thinking about what troubles them. For example, your partner may always be coming late to meet you. you never told him/her about that till now. You feel that now you must tell, because you cannot bear waiting every time. You are troubled by a habit of your darling. But that was always ignored in the initial euphoria of knowing each other and developing relationship. You want to point out about that habit now. Friendship - An Invaluable Asset  By : CD Mohatta Friendship is a great asset. But Much under valued and always taken for granted. Why? Because everybody has friends, rather most of us have. In comparison, money is valued a lot, because not all of us have it. But friendship can at times prove to be a bigger and better asset than money. To have a true friend is the greatest comfort in the world. Even if you lose all your money, your friend will remain with you. Your friend will support you when you need it most. He/she will do it without your asking for it. Because that is friendship. When we are born, our greatest friend is our mother. She takes care of us under all circumstances and protects us at times by giving away her life. Friendship is like that. Your Friendship Personality  By : CD Mohatta What kind of friend you are? What kind of friends do you have? Whether your friendships will last? Can you make good friends? Are you a true friends? There are many questions about friendship. Why not try quizzes to find out about your friendship personality? You will enjoy trying quizzes and sharing with your friends. What do I mean by friendship personality? Do you remember meeting people, you never liked right from first meeting? And there were some you loved right from the word-Go. There is an attraction and openness about some people which we like and we want to become friends with them. They are honest and reliable. They look like caring persons and have good values. We love them for that. Such people can be relied upon. We feel that such friends will be with us and will always be there for us. We also enjoy their togetherness and personality. You will find their faces smiling most of the times and such people avoid making fun of friends. Relationships And Poor Communication  By : CD Mohatta To communicate means to tell about our feelings, and our thoughts. When we communicate, our words may not say precisely what is in our mind, but when somebody takes our body language and words together, he/she can probably find out what we really want to communicate. Understanding communication and making communication is both an art and a science. But it is not very difficult to learn. Relationships thrive on good communication. When both the partners know exactly what is in the other's mind, a relationship proceeds smoothly. For example, if a partner is lethargic and keeping quiet, that also communicates something. That has to be understood by the other partner. Once both the partners understand the hidden signs and the precise meaning of what is being said, they can develop a very healthy relationship. People feel good if some body understands them. They get irritated if somebody does not understand them. Irrespective of their own bad communication, they want people to understand them. Here lies the clue to communication and relationships. Are You Lovable?  By : CD Mohatta This looks like an awkward question. We will confess that he/she is not lovable? But the truth is that many of us are not lovable at all. Can you imagine of a small kid? A kid is always lovable. Why? If we can answer that question, we will solve the puzzle about whether we are lovable or not. A kid is innocent. Knows nothing and is totally defenseless. You love a kid, because he/ she wants you to protect him/her. You love a kid because of innocence. You love the kid because of the smiling face. You love the kid because the kid has no malice towards anyone. Does not desire any thing bad for any one. Recognizes no enemies and has faith in everyone. The kid is totally free of all negative emotions. That is why we all love a kid. Test Your Relationship  By : CD Mohatta All of our relationships are multi faceted. Whether it is marital relationship or a love relationship, all have dimensions that make them go through ups and downs in our life. a relationship essentially develops between two persons and that is the reason of these changes. If one person is feeling bad for some reason, the relationship will suffer. There are three factors in a relationship - You, the person you are relating with and the type of relationship. Is there any method to test the relationships? Will that help? Let us find out. There are few websites that offer tests and quizzes. Attempt all the quizzes on relationships and find out your answers. Ask your mate to do the same and find the answers. Compare your answers and try to find questions that were answered differently by both of you. That will tell you something about the areas your relationship may encounter friction. Strengthen Friendships With Ecards  By : CD Mohatta Friendship is the biggest asset for us. How can we strengthen such friendships with ecards? Let us find out. A true friend is at times more valuable than anybody else. Because he/she truly cares for us. We in turn care for such a friend and both sides are always sure that they will never be left alone in a crisis or at the time of need. How to strengthen such a friendship? Remember friendship is like a river. If water does not flow in constantly from the source the river will dry. In the same way friendship has to be fed with water of love and affection. In the modern days, it is difficult to meet a friend regularly. The work and home takes more time and little time is left for friends. Today the world demands speed and that keeps all of us busy. Ecards are a good way to keep in touch with a true friend everyday and nurture the friendship continuously. Let us see how. Love - Balance Emotions And Intelligence  By : CD Mohatta Love is euphoric. Love is enchanting. Love is heavenly. Love is captivating. And Love is something no one can describe. Love has to be felt, it cannot be explained. One cannot fall in love by planning; one just falls in love without realizing. That is love. And love also takes intelligence away like nothing can. In love, the most intelligent person may act foolishly, because love overwhelms. What if you fall in romantic love? It is the beginning of your love and you have no thoughts in your mind except those of your darling. You are dreaming of making a home with her/him and living happily ever after. You are planning, discussing and dreaming. You are as much away from the reality of life as much as day is away from night. You get married. Your friends gather. Your family gathers. There is celebration. The couple looks great. They look to be in so much love with each other. You feel like the luckiest person on the earth. And then you announce divorce after a year. Why? Is He Just A Friend Or He Loves You?  By : CD Mohatta This is a common situation. You know many men. Some of them are friends. Out of them one wants to be more than a friend with you. But he does not know how to tell you that? Are there any signs that will tell you that he is interested in you? Let us try to find out. Friends always talk to each other freely. They laugh, make fun of each other and occasionally speak with each other in not a very civil way. If that man is interested in you, he will do none of this. Forget talking freely, he will find it difficult to speak to you. You will sometimes catch him looking at you intently, but as soon as you turn towards him, he will turn away. He would never make it obvious that he was watching you. If any time some body makes fun of you, you will find everybody joining the fun, but not this man. He would rather look at the fun maker with anger. If any time you knock yourself against any object, others may ignore that, but not your hero. He will surely come and ask you if he can help. Friendship Day - Bury Old Enmity  By : CD Mohatta Friendship day is celebrated on August 7, every year. It is a day to wish our friends and meet and have fun together. Can we use this day for something else? That is to bury enmity? Please go back to your school days and trace your friends till now. You will find few persons, with who you were good friends, but on the way because of some tiffs or misunderstandings, the friendship turned to enmity. You no longer remained friends after that. Are you happy about that? The wounds of what happened may still be raw and you may have no desire to make friends with those people again. You might even hate them. Does this help us in our life? Our wounds hurt us most. We stop our growth with negative thoughts and emotions. What if you were friends again? Would you not feel good? Recollect anytime, when you have donated anything to a charity. What did you feel at that time? You felt very good, isn't it? How about giving friendship in charity to some old friends who have turned enemies? Are You Satisfied With Your Mate?  By : CD Mohatta My idea of home is everything at the right place. His idea is to litter around as much as possible. I love to read, he prefers to go to movies. I love to party, she prefers a cozy dinner for two. I love what they call junk food and she wants organic vegetarian. And so it goes. Both the partners are so different in every thing, that one wonders how they ever came together. What can one talk about such relationships? Many of us are involved in such relationships. One of the partner is a genius and the other could barely pass through the exams. How do such relationships develop and how do they survive? Such relationships developed because both loved each other because of the differences. The differences attracted them. They found each other so different to each other that it was something exciting for them. They loved each other for these differences and so they came to enjoy life as if it was some exciting trip to unknown destinations. Friendship - Who Is A True Friend?  By : CD Mohatta We all have friends. A lot gets talked about friendships. Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. After a romantic relationship, friendships are the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family and distant family, most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship? The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk. Reconcile Before It Is Too Late  By : CD Mohatta I had a bad fight yesterday and today he/she is no more. How do I say sorry now? It is too late. But I never thought that this would happen to him/her. So healthy. A small pain in the chest that increased and before medical help could arrive he/she was dead. Now what do I do. But you know, I was right yesterday. But it all sounds like a nightmare now. Oh, God, this guilt will never go away. How does one say sorry to a dead body even if one was right? Have you ever come across such a talk any time in your life? Reconciliation Day is generally celebrated on April 2nd. This day comes especially so that we reconcile with all of those with who we have some tiff or grudge and have strained the relationship. The common meaning of reconciliation is to patch up or to resolve and bring the situation back to normal. Will You Survive A Relationship Breakdown?  By : CD Mohatta Relationships connect us in this world with each other. We have many kinds of relationships-parental, sibling, friends, professional and love. We go through many phases in all these relationships. Ups and downs are part of our life and our relationships. Most of us can bear break down in most of the above relationships except those of love. Why? Who will survive a breakdown in romantic relationship and who will get shattered? Let us discuss. The higher the attraction, the higher will be the shock. The closer you are, the break up will give you more shock. It is very simple equation. But let us remember that life is not made of equations and emotions do not behave mathematically. So it all boils down to personality. There are some who expect the relationship to break sooner or later. They are pessimists and call themselves practical. These people are never surprised if the relationship breaks. They may wonder about the reasons but will not suffer trauma. Friendships - Does Difference In Wealth Hurt Or Help?  By : CD Mohatta During our school days, most of us are not concerned about the families our friends come from. One of our classmates may be from the richest family of the world, but that would not make much difference in our friendship. This thought process changes as we grow. We become conscious of our social standing and compare that to our friends as we grow. Some friendships do not survive because of a wide difference in the wealth of the families, where as some friendships thrive irrespective of all these factors. They are like fairy tale friendships. Should we look around and make friends with people similar to us in wealth and other social parameters? Can a gardener's son make friend with the son /daughter of the owner of the mansion? Is that good? Will that friendship survive? Let us examine. Friendship depends on the personal equation between two people. It is an emotional bond that does not depend upon money or other such external factors. On the positive side, if you are a poor person and if your best friend is a very rich person, that psychology of money can help you become rich yourself. Friendship- Do You Value?  By : CD Mohatta Friendship is a gift of God. Some of us are blessed with good friends. But as it happens, these friendships are taken for granted in some cases and not valued. It is similar to a case of two couples. Say one has no child even after many years of marriage and the other has many children, more than they can manage. What do you think? Will the couple with many children value the children as much as the couple which has none? Everything is relative in life. We value what we don't have and give less valuable to what is freely available with us. Friendship is one such relationship.Why should we value friendships? What qualities does a good friend bring in our relationship that makes the friendship so valuable? Let us examine some of these. Judgment - a good friend is rarely judgmental. We can be open in our behavior with our good friends because we know that they will not judge us. We can enjoy this freedom only with friends. It is nothing short of a blessing, because with other people our actions and behavior are always calculated and guarded and that takes away lot of pleasure from our life. Are You Made For Each Other  By : CD Mohatta The couple was walking on the sidewalk. They looked to be totally absorbed with each other. They were not speaking to each other, but a glance at them could tell that they were in deep love and were made for each other. What is this mystical quality of being made for each other? What qualities does this kind of relationship have? Are all the choices same? Or as we say in science, opposites attract. So the choices are totally different? Will a couple having different choices in every aspect love each other or fight over the choices? We can say that at least most of the choices should be very common. If I say that my partner and I are made for each other, what I must mean is this - he/she is the right person for me. There is no other person in the world other than him/her who can make a better couple with me. We are happiest being together and our happiness comes from our relationship. Are choices the only factor that matter in our life? Is it enough if my eating habits, my dressing choices, my color preferences, my weather preferences and all my other likings are same as my partner, we are made for each other? Is that all to the relationship supposed to be made for each other? There must be something more? What can be that? Let us find out. Promises - Never Break Them In A Relationship  By : CD Mohatta What is a promise? It is a pledge or an assurance given by one person to other that he/she will act exactly as promised. The other person can rest assured that the promise will not be broken under any circumstances. In this case, circumstances word is very significant. Because even if the promise is made in total sincerity, the circumstances are taken as an excuse for breaking them. At times, the cost of keeping the promise unbroken can be very high. But no matter what is that cost, the breaking of a promise is a bigger sin. By breaking a promise, we hurt the other party. We kill the faith of the other party in humanity and its words. One must think about the value of the promise for the one to whom it was made. Why do we promise something to someone? Because both the parties agree that if the promise is broken, the other person will be hurt. Why is the promise accepted? The promise is accepted only if one who makes the promise is believed to be a truthful and honest person. No one believes upon the promises made by liars. Jealousy In Relationships  By : CD Mohatta This is a common theme that is discussed by those who are in love, or by their friends. Why does one feel jealous? Is the relationship weak? If the relationship is strong, should one feel jealous at all? Or it is one's genes? I mean, if I am very sure that I love a girl and I am totally committed to her, and I believe that she is equally in love with me, why should I feel jealous? Or why should she feel jealous? But jealousy is a fact of life. Let us examine more of jealousy. Let us take a simple example. Say, your child loves one of your neighbors and she is equally attentive to him/her. Would you feel jealous of that or proud about that? Would you try to take away your child from the neighbor? Would you confront the neighbor? You may do nothing like this, if I am not wrong in my analysis. But what if your child is replaced by your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend? Your reaction may be entirely different. If yes, why? What is the difference in both the situations? Do You Have Good Friends  By : CD Mohatta Friends are a gift of God. If we have good friends, we should assume that God has showered us with His unlimited grace. What does a good friend mean? What are the differences between ordinary friends and good friends? What is friendship? Let us begin our enquiry by asking about what is friendship? Can it be defined? What is the relationship of friendship? What qualities does this relationship have? When two persons share common interests, care for each other, enjoy being together and help each other, they are called as friends. Is this a correct definition? It broadly covers the areas of friendship. Do We Relate Differently With Family Compared To Friends  By : CD Mohatta So many times, you will hear from someone that they are so and so. They are from the xyz family. They would say. Their family is famous for this and this, they would add. Family and a strong sense of belonging to our last name is important to many of us. Even if someone’s great great grandfather/grandmother was distantly related to the monarch of that country or a very rich family, ages ago, one remembers that and recollects that fact with pride. Common blood stream coming down the ages makes a big difference to a lot of us. Leave aside common people, in this modern age, even kings and queens are decided by heredity and not by qualities. I will talk of an imaginary situation. Say, I have a cousin, who I meet once a year. And I have a friend, with whom I share all my successes and failures and meet at least once a week. If a quirk of fate is drowning both and I am given the choice of saving only one of them, whom shall I chose? My decision will be dependent on my sense of belonging to common family and the value I put to my friendship. This decision may be tough to make, but I will have to make it and live with it for the rest of my life. What would you do, if such a situation arises in your life? Friendship And Love  By : CD Mohatta Friendship and love. Both are so much related to each other. And both are so dissimilar! What are the differences between friendship and love? Is platonic friendship possible between persons of opposite sex? Let us try and understand. What is friendship? Why do we call a person our friend? When do we call someone a very good friend? If we care for a person, if we are always ready to help that person and if we share most of our thoughts with a person, they are our good friends. We can always count upon our good friends in an emergency. We are always sure that our friend will understand why we acted in a certain way. We need not explain anything to our very good friends. The friendship is so deep and the relationship is so intimate, that most of the things are automatically understood by our friends. Can Love Destroy  By : CD Mohatta The title of this article is a little shocking, Isn't it? Because no one can think of love and destruction together. But love does destroy. How? Let us examine. There is a story of a prince in India. He was in great love with his wife and never wanted to be without her. One day, an enemy kingdom attacked him, but the prince did not want to go out and fight. He did not want to be away from his princess. The princess realized this and she asked the prince to go out for a minute. After sometime, a maid brought the head of princess to the prince with the dying message of the princess. 'Let our love not destroy you. You are a prince and you must save your state from the enemies. I am giving up my life so that you can carry out your duties properly.' Does this small story tell us anything? What lessons can we draw from this? How To Forget The Past Relationship  By : CD Mohatta The past that refuses to go away casts its shadow very long into the present and the future. Many of us have had break ups in the past and now desire to go forward . Something destroys every new relationship. What is that? Because if you find that your every new relationship is breaking apart, you will start searching for faults in yourself. The truth may lie somewhere else. What happens after a break up? When Cupid Hits  By : CD Mohatta I used to live a simple, happy life. I call it happy, but it was more of a peaceful life. Happiness has different meanings at different times. Till a woman gives birth, she does not know what is happiness of being in love with the child. Is it not true? It was same with me. Talking of love, I had read quite a lot in books and seen many movies. But love, the emotion was unknown to me. Then I fell in love and my world changed suddenly. I cannot say that I used to see stars in bright sun light, but I can surely say that for me the days became as lovely as the nights. We used to share everything. I used to read my poetries to her on telephone and she listened. That simple sharing was heavenly. The same ice cream used to taste totally differently when we used to share from the same cup. What she bought for me was commonly available in the shops, but I used to wear those clothes as if they were directly delivered fro heaven. I can go on and on about what all we shared and loved. As I said before that I had read about love, but did not know about it. I came to know about love only after falling in love. The Funny Side Of Saying - I Love You  By : CD Mohatta Love, the feeling that makes a person new and feel heavenly. Love, a feeling that changes life within a moment. Have we not heard of love at first sight? One who was happy go lucky in the morning, gets deep and dreamy looks in the eyes by the time the evening arrives. What happened? He/she fell in love during the day and now does not know what to do? The very first response of such people is dreaming. They have dreams during the night and more often during the day. They lose all attention to their work and the only work left for them is to think of their latest sweetheart. Then begins the planning of where to meet again? How to spot that lovely person again? Through friends, or what? Depends on where the love was found at the first place. After getting few glimpses more, the love deepens and the dreams become more frequent. But at the same time, fear sets in. What if the other party refuses to reciprocate? What if the other one does not like me? So looks are given immediate attention. 'What if the other party is already in love with someone? That will be horrible. Let me not think of that at all. And if it comes to that, I will move heavens to win my love.' Romantic Feelings  By : CD Mohatta Romance, the eternal subject for most of the poets. Romance, the life giving force. Romance, that changes perceptions and romance makes a dull night a night of poetic thoughts. Romance turns an ordinary flower into a lover's gift to be preserved forever. Romance produces letters that are saved for generations. Romance makes everything look happy and cheerful. Romantic feelings change perception. One who had never thought of reading a poetry, begins writing one. That is romance. One who is in romantic love, will have no complaints with the world. Even if the traffic does not move for hours, the romantic lover excuses everyone. That is romance. Lies kill hearts  By : CD Mohatta One who speaks a lie hurts. Only truth gives life and peace. A lie always hurts. Even the smallest lie hurts. It hurts one to whom the lie has been spoken, and surely the person who speaks the lie. In today's world lies are taken as way of life. Those who speak lies, bury morality so deep down somewhere, that no one can find it. These people with black hearts speak lies and sometimes they lie to the extent that it kills one who believes them. Speaking a lie is betraying trust. To speak a falsehood to one who believes that truth is being spoken, is sinful. Society may not punish liars, but there is the law of karma, that punishes the liar. But what of the pain that a liar gives to one who trusted her/him? [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

SIGN UP FOR FREE   Sign Up for a free account or learn more. Submit Articles Member Login Top Authors Most Popular Articles Submission Guidelines Ezine Notifications Article RSS Feeds About Us Link to Us Contact Us Privacy Policy Terms of Service   Most Recent Articles The Endless World Of Relationship Advice  By : Morgan Hamilton There seems to be no limit to the amount of relationship advice that is out there in this day and age. A lot of folks feel insecure about their relationships and from time to time, they need to get help for their relationship woes. Advices on relationships are no longer limited to family and friends because there are many different sources for them these days. Relationship advice can now be found in magazine columns, radio shows, posts on the Internet, and in many other places. Planning The Perfect Valentine's Day  By : Morgan Hamilton Next to the Christmas season, Valentines Day is the second-most popular greeting-card-giving occasion. In fact, Hallmark Cards estimates that over 192 million Valentines Day cards are exchanged every February. Do you have any plans for the fourteenth day of February of the following year? We all trouble in choosing the right remembrance be it a card or a gift for this special day. It has to be something special because the gifts for this occasion are usually given to potential sweethearts. Having a nice dinner with your special someone is one of the best things that can be done on Valentines Day. It is also special for platonic relationships because this occasion is not exclusive for lovers. Many restaurants also have special menus that are dedicated to this occasion. Finding The Perfect 50th Anniversary Gift  By : Morgan Hamilton A few months ago, I received an invitation in the mail. When I examined it, I discovered that it was an invitation to my best friend’s parent’s 50th wedding anniversary party. I have known my best friend and her family for almost 35 years, as a result I have become very close with them. I couldn’t possibly decline an invitation to such an important occasion, but yet the thought of looking for an appropriate 50th anniversary gift didn't excite me at all. I realized that generic presents won’t do for these types of occasions. I gave my RSVP with absolutely no idea on what 50th anniversary gift I would give to my best friend’s wonderful parents. My first option was going to the mall for something special. After a long fruitless search, I was ready to give up. All I can find were the usual candles and picture frames. I mean, what would you choose as a 50th anniversary gift for a couple who has everything they need? I wanted to give such a wonderful couple a special and meaningful present. Fortunately, some co-workers told me that I should try my luck on the World-Wide-Web. Keeping Relationships Fresh And Fun  By : Stacey Moore Something as simple as a dinner date could help spice up a long-term relationship-the key is to treat the night as if it were your first date, all over again. That's the advice from experts who say that couples in long-term relationships often stop trying to impress each other. They suggest dressing up, going to favorite places and pretending each night out is a first date. Rekindle Your Romance Year-round  By : Stacey Moore John, Paul, George and Ringo got it right-all you need is love. But sometimes the hustle and bustle of everyday life forces expressions of that love to fall between the cracks. With demanding schedules and a constant need for speed, Americans today are more on-the-go than ever before, leaving little room for much-needed "R&R" (relationships & romance). But what the Beatles knew all along, Americans are finding harder to remember. According to the "Romance in America" survey, even the most obvious of romantic holidays-birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine's Day-have been forgotten at least once by nearly half (45 percent) of us. When it boils down to Mars vs. Venus, it's Valentine's Day that slips the minds of one in three men (31 percent) and the special "I do" day that one in three women (30 percent) tend to forget. The Power Of The Flower  By : Stacey Moore A new study says what the flower children of the '60s never doubted-flowers make you feel at peace. A behavioral research study conducted by Nancy Etcoff, Ph.D., of Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School, reveals that people feel more compassionate toward others, have less worry and anxiety, and feel less depressed when fresh-cut flowers are present in the home. Sexual Revolutionaries Mature: Baby Boomers Seek Relationship Satisfaction  By : Stacey Moore If you are one of 78 million baby boomers in the U.S.1, you may be hearing a lot about how to become an expert at managing your stock portfolio or your cholesterol, but how good are you at managing your intimate relationship? A new survey conducted by Harris Interactive® and sponsored by Cialis® (tadalafil)2 explores how baby boomers'3 emotional4 and physical intimacy5 has evolved over time. The survey reveals that only half of boomers surveyed are satisfied with the physical intimacy in their relationship, and both sexes (41% men, 43% women) desire more emotional intimacy. 5 Ways To Live In Harmony With People You Don't Like  By : Gabriel Adams - It can be difficult to be in the same room with people you don’t like, let alone live with them. However, there are many circumstances where we really have no choice in the matter, so we have to do our best get along with them or at least to avoid conflict. Here are five tips to help you live in harmony with people you don’t like: 5 Reasons To Choose Abstinence  By : Gabriel Adams - Sex is a one of the most special and beautiful experiences for any couple. It can also be a very emotional experience for men and women. It brings in its wake certain complications and that’s why some people say its best to abstain until you are fully committed or in an adult relationship like marriage. Here are 5 reasons why you should wait until marriage before having sex: The Importance Of Communication Skills In All Areas Of Life  By : Gabriel Adams - Maintaining a good relationship is part of living healthy. Your communication skills are important to maintaining those relationships that help you be healthy. How do you communicate? How often do you communicate? Do you initiate conversation? The people we interact with on a regular basis see you at your best and at your worst. You probably want a healthy overflow of those best moments. Communicating wisely and effectively can help you. Building Relationships As Part Of A Healthy Lifestyle  By : Gabriel Adams - Social interactions are a common thing in our society. They are also a very important part of a balanced and healthy lifestyle. For some people, building relationships is easy. Others find it hard because they are set in their own ways or because they are shy. There are many opportunities to meet people. If you work you will have co-workers to interact with. Most of us have friends from school and family members we are close with. Joining the gym, a club, or donating your time at a charity are all great ways to meet people. Those of us with children meet many people at school activities and sporting events. It is healthy to have many different types of relationships. We all know some people just by routine such as the mailman and the clerk at the convenient store. We also develop casual acquaintances with large amounts of people. Most of us only have a small circle of very close friends we hold dear to our heart. The secret to having good relationships is sharing yourself with others. It is also about give and take. Treat others as you want them to treat you. Relationships are also about communication and sharing, both the good and the bad times in our lives. Valentine’s Day Cards: Finding The Perfect One  By : Gabriel Adams - Finding the perfect Valentine’s Day card can take time. There are plenty to choose from, but for that special someone you want the card to be perfect from the cover to the writing style to what the words have to say. The isles of Valentine’s Day cards can get crowded in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, so try to search for your card early. This will give you plenty of time to read through them without fighting the crowd. Valentine’s Day cards come in many colors and sizes. I have seen some very small ones that fit into a wallet. These are a great way to surprise the man in your life. Slip one into his wallet and when he opens it on Valentine’s Day, he will find it waiting for him. Most are the standard card size. There are some that are so huge, you have to open them on a table top! Special Occasion Gifts With A Creative Twist  By : Gabriel Adams - Whether it’s a house-warming gift for friends or family, congratulations on a new marriage, baby or job, achievement in sports, scholastics, or the workplace, these are the special occasions that warrant the perfect gift for acknowledging such an event. And depending on the recipient, you can find something for every situation and personality because special occasion gifts range from the simple to the ‘over-the-top’ – there is a vast selection of distinctive offerings to choose from, for all age groups as well. Consider This There are the reliable standbys that include gift certificates, trophies, baskets filled with food or household, cute or romantic items. But let’s look at a few of the more ‘intriguing’ special occasion gifts that are out there. How To Choose The Perfect Special Occasion Gift  By : Gabriel Adams - When it's that time to think of others and buy a gift, we ironically often make the mistake of thinking about ourselves! Don't believe us? Just think about the last time that you bought a special occasion gift for a family member, friend, neighbor, or co-worker. Did you worry what kind of impression the gift would give about you? Were you concerned whether the gift looked expensive enough and gave the impression that you spent a lot of money? How about the last time you received a gift? What was that person thinking?! Christmas Cards At The Click Of A Button  By : Gabriel Adams - Christmas is a time of year that we all enjoy. But, Christmas can also be a stressful time. There are so many things to do! Thank goodness, most stores will gift-wrap for you! One little job that can be hectic is sending Christmas cards. If you are “organized” like me, you probably have your little list that you pull out each year. People move and addresses change, and the simple task of sending a tiny card in the mail can become a monster! Myspace Graphics- Perfect To Express Love  By : CD Mohatta For a person in love myspace is a great boon. It offers many variations of exchanging love notes. You can express your love publicly and keep the competition away. Many a times when you are dating a person, your friends may not be aware of that. A look at your profile is enough to tell them about your love life. Out of many ways of expressing love on myspace, one can choose flash scrollers, comment generators, graphics, flash comments, photo frames and so on. The simplest method is of course to write a comment yourself in your beloved's profile. Out of all these methods, love graphics score the best. Let me tell you how? Myspace Comments For Valentine- How To Choose?  By : CD Mohatta Valentine's day is coming nearer. As the day approaches, everybody who wants to share love is thinking of ideas about gifts, cards, celebration, and myspace comments. Believe me, for those who are active on myspace there is nothing more precious than to look for good comments to send to their beloved. Let me tell you how to chose the myspace comments for Valentine's Day. Myspace Valentine Comment Design Selection- Quiz- Is Your Relationship Collapsing?  By : CD Mohatta I never expected that I would one day hate the person I loved so much. We were very happy. I do not know what happened, but suddenly our relationship collapsed. This is heart breaking. I do not know what to do, or think? I am going numb with stress. You will hear some such talk from people who have a collapsing relationship. Could they not guess that the end was near? Like a building, a relationship does not crash suddenly. It weakens over time. Periodic check up can stop this. Let us quiz on how to find out. Quiz your past- Quiz- Is Your Partner Reliable?  By : CD Mohatta Reliability of our partner is a primary concern for all of us. It is not only in cheating in relationship but also in wider perspective. If you lose your job for a long time, will your partner stay with you or leave you? Can you rely on your partner? Quiz yourself. Quiz your partner's basic values. Is your partner an opportunist? Suppose you are with your partner out for shopping. He/she like s something and promises the sales person that he/she would purchase that after visiting few other shops. In another shop the same thing is available for a smaller price. What does your partner do? Does she/he go back to the earlier shop and ask them to match the price? Do they keep the promise even at the higher price? Or do they just buy at the smaller price and forget all about the promise? This may look and sound something very trivial, but character is always seen in the smallest instances. Friendship- When Times Are Bad A Friend Is Like God  By : CD Mohatta Most of us do not care much about friendship except casual meeting, holidaying together or common celebrations. But when a person goes through bad times, a friend helps like god. He/she may not help with money but sometimes the situation is so bad that it becomes difficult to have someone who will hear about what we go through. A friend helps at such a crucial time. Let us talk more about this. When we go through a bad patch in life sometimes the phase is over quickly. But sometimes the bad patch stretches so long that we lose the ability to fight and develop suicidal tendencies. The fight goes away out of us and we feel nothing but total depression and helpless. We lose faith in everybody including us and become afraid about what more can happen. That time we need a friend. Talking to a friend sin such a situation makes us feel that we are not alone. Secondly a friend reminds us about our abilities. The friend who is not directly affected can still look at the picture in whole and suggest solutions. The value of a friend at such time is much more than any treasure Quiz- Do You Work On Your Relationship?  By : CD Mohatta Do you quiz yourself about your relationship? Do you question yourself and your partner about all the aspects of the relationships and what is satisfying and what is not? Do you work on your relationship? To have a relationship that works, one has to work. Most of us take a relationship for granted once we reach a certain level of intimacy. We assume that we are regular partners. We forget to work on the rough edges and that dooms the relationship to our surprise. Quiz yourself about the similarities and differences between both of you. Similarities will not hurt the relationship but differences will surely damage. There may be many differences between both of you. Your value systems may be different. Your political beliefs may be different. Your ideas about the future may be different. She/he might be looking forward to a childfree marriage where as you might be planning for a home full of children. Your finanicial planning may be different. One may believe in saving while other overspends. Will the joint account work? Quiz Your Friendship- Can Your Friends Count On You?  By : CD Mohatta Quiz your friendship personality: Friendship is one of the greatest relationships, isn't it? True friends do not hesitate giving their lives for their friend's benefit. We have heard stories of great friendships since childhood. What about you? Do you think you are a good friend? Are you friendly? If you believe that you are friendly, why do you think that? Did you take any feedback from your friends about this? Or this is your impression? Sometimes we think and believe that we are very friendly, while our friends have different ideas. We change and improve only after we ask our friends. Let us quiz ourselves about our friendship personality and find out if our friends can count on us. Let us become self-critic for a moment. Friendship Day- Do You Need Friends?  By : CD Mohatta Friendship day is coming nearer. That makes many of us wonder about our friends and our relation with them. Do you nee friends? If yes, why? Why do you need friends? You have your work, some family members, and entertainment. What else do you need to live comfortably? Cheating In Love - Should You Tell Your Partner Or Not?  By : CD Mohatta Cheating is considered unpardonable. Everybody takes cheating by the partner very seriously. But most of us cheat at one or the other time -if not physically then emotionally. What if you cheated on your partner in a momentary lapse and are now very much regretting it. Should you tell your partner or not? Love Can Not Be Lost- Are You Getting Cheated - Try This Quiz  By : CD Mohatta So you think that your partner might be cheating you? Why do you think that? Why not try this small quiz and find out the truth? A quiz is always very helpful in finding the truth. The quiz questions are simple such as- Does your partner not love you? Does he/she not share the expenses? Do they look at others and try to give flirting signs even if they are with you? Are they keeping relations with their ex even now? Or is it just a felling that you are being cheated either physically or emotionally? Let us take this quiz and find the truth. Quiz sixth sense- Quiz The Strength Of Your Relationship  By : CD Mohatta I read a post by a girl that she had an ideal relationship for more than three years. The boyfriend had initiated the relationship and wanted them to commit to each other forever. One day suddenly he came up and said that he liked another girl. After some days he said that he was no more seeing the other new girl and wanted to continue with the old love. This behavior has confused this girl and she wanted to know about the strength of her relationship. Have you quizzed yourself about the strength of your relationship? Quiz your Love- to begin with quiz your love for each other. Write some questions about your mutual attraction and find out the answers of both of you. Do you love him/her more or less compared to the beginning? Does he/she irritate you now? Do you care for each other? Quiz about all the aspects of love. Miss You Ecards- Use Them To Refresh The Relationship  By : CD Mohatta Yesterday, I was reading a post by a boy who said that though he broke-up eight years ago, he has not forgotten his girl. He still dreams of being withier child and living together. This boy has dated many girls during these eight years, but the lost love refuses to go away. He wanted to know about what he should do. I advised him in that forum to go back to his love, though many others said that he should forget. This boy is not alone in this predicament. Many of us break-up for small reasons and are inconsolable afterwards. We try many ways to forget, but fail. Miss you ecards are a great help to such people. Are we not missing our real love? Yes, we do, but we try to hide that fact from ourselves and keep a smiling exterior. Our body and heart misses our real love, but we do not know how to approach our love again. Relationships- Why Do You Have A Partner?  By : CD Mohatta From what one reads in forums on relationships, it seems that most of the relationships manage to give more pain than joy after some time. The rise in divorce rates is an indicator to this. Why have relationship if that will give more pain than pleasure to both the partners? Do not you also ask this question? It is becoming so difficult to keep a healthy relationship that one feels that he/she is coming from one office to another office. Where is the home with freedom, acceptance and love? Relationships are becoming ego problems. Communication needs to be guarded. Wishes have to be taken care of. Sacrifices have to be made. Individuality has to be killed. Compromises have to be made at every step. Even after making many compromises, the relationship may break. One feels broken after making so much effort and find that nothing was of any use. It seems that either most of us are getting caught up with wrong partners or the break-ups occur very fast. Relationships - Please Give Your Head An Opportunity To Decide  By : CD Mohatta Relationships in the early phase of formation are guided by heart and physical attraction and needs. How many of us give a chance to our head to decide whether we will relate to a person using our head? Very few of us do that. This irrational process continues for long and may be cause of suffering in some relationships. Please give your head a chance to decide about relationship and about whether it should continue. Infatuation decides many relationships. You see some one and decide that you want that person. You do not reason at all about why you want that person. I read many posts about teenagers saying that I saw that boy and girl and I want to relate. Why do you want to relate with a person by only looking at him/her? Will that relationship give pleasure or pain? In many instances, it gives pleasure. The love at first sight relationship may go on for life, but many times, it may lead to pain. If head were given a choice in selection of the partner, this would not have happened. Relationships - But I Never Meant That  By : CD Mohatta Communication is the key to any relationship. With bad communication, problems crop up at unexpected places. This is a classical case. I am feeling very hurt because of what you said. When did I say that? Two days back. But I never meant that. I do not know what you meant, but it has been hurting me since then. Oh, I am sorry. I genuinely never meant that. Why did you not ask me then and there? I was very hurt to ask. Oh, I am very sorry. What you say can make a big difference to your relationship. How will the listener know what you mean? The listener only picks up your words and makes interpretation. Choosing right words while communicating is important. If you know about your partners sensitivities about a subject, you have to be very careful while talking even in jest. Your tone has to be perfect and you have to be careful while speaking. You never know when you will hurt your partners feelings. This communication care is very important if the relationship is already going bad and you wish to save it. Relationship - Know Your Partners Values Beforehand  By : CD Mohatta We acquire our values from different sources. In the beginning our values are given to us by our parents. Speak truth, help others, do this and do not do that and things like that. After sometime, we get more values in our education. We read about values of great people and try to live by some of them. Our religion gives us many values. How to live, what is right, what is wrong and what is allowed, what is not allowed are some values that we get from the religion? Today if you observe the difference between pro and anti abortion lobbies, you will find a values conflict. In your relationship, have you found out values of your partner? Have you spelled out your values? Values are dear to us. For some of us, values are very dear. It is found that some people even give away their life to safe guard their values. Such value contradiction can play havoc with your relationship. Some of us sympathize with poor and try to help them, while others opine that poor need not be helped, as it is their karma that is giving them this pain. Let them suffer. This singular value difference can kill your relationship, if you both are not ready to compromise on them. Love - Do Not Let Romantic Love Die  By : CD Mohatta Love and relationship based on love has many stages. The phase of romantic love does not last long. It is the most pleasant phase of the relationship and unfortunately, it passes very soon. The joy is short lived. After this phase comes the phase of mature understanding that may lead to lot of bickering and split amongst many. Why allow that phase to come at all. Or why let romantic love die at all? Can we not continue that phase forever? Let us find out. In the phase of romantic love, the lovers feel very passionate about each other. They want to be together. They want to make each other happy. Their only objective is to enjoy the romance, send love notes to each other and enjoy the bliss of romance. After sometime, this phase passes away because of ego, relationship misunderstandings, expectations and other life problems that become more prominent. Can we not stretch the romantic love forever? Experience says that it is not possible, but some exceptions are there. why not follow the exceptions? Let us see how. Relationship- Men Also Get Abused By Women  By : CD Mohatta Emotional and physical abuse is believed to be only for women. Men are the abusers and women the victims. Do not women abuse men? Yes they do get abused and mercilessly. A woman can be brutal when it comes to blames and accusations. She can invent many lies and kill the soul of the man with every sentence she speaks. She may not abuse the man physically, but her emotional abuse may be enough to drive a man to lunacy. I do not know why the abuse is considered to be prerogative of men? Is it because they are considered the stronger sex? What about emotional strength? Some men are very soft and especially when they deal with a woman, they act more softly. The woman wants to abuse the man will have no such compunctions. She can raise her voice, she can use crying, she can corner the man with all her blames because she wants to hurt him. She succeeds because a good man will not retaliate. Relationship - Sacrificing Values Can Not Save It  By : CD Mohatta Every relationship demands sacrifices. Every relationship demands adjustment. It is give and take all the way. Some call it compromise. Others call it negotiation of needs. Whatever you call it, the truth is that we accept what our partner wants despite our being against it and vice versa many times. We all have our values. There are certain principals by which we live. We have acceptable and non-acceptable adjustments. Ask a green activist to adjust to killing of whales. He/she would never do that. That is unacceptable to them. That goes against their value. Similarly for some people any extra marital love is totally unacceptable. If they find out that their spouse was involved in one, the relationship may break. It is simple - I will never compromise on this set of values that I cherish. Relationship - Do Not Blame Me For The Mess?  By : CD Mohatta I have spoken about various games we play in relationships. The games that are mostly negative drain the relationship of its charm and effectively kill all the love and care that partners can have for each other. Here is one more such game that is played in relationships. It is called - please I am not at fault. Do not blame me. Or tell me what I shall do, and I will do that. Unsaid part- you know very well that I will never do what you advise, but blame you after everything fails. Partners who have been lucky to get a partner who tolerates a lot generally play this game. In this relationship The game playing partner knows that all will be tolerated and the poor partner will try his/her best to set things right. Why should I bother at all? These are lazy partners. These are dishonest partners. These are destructive partners. They can extract life away from a charming individual and make him/her feel guilty and helpless for no fault. They destroy the relationship. Quiz Your Listening - Are You A Failure In Relating?  By : CD Mohatta Many relationships would be saved if the partners had listened to each other. Many relationships would have been broken quite early if the partners had listened? And that would have been good. What use is a relationship that only prolongs the pain? What is listening? Why not quiz yourself about your listening and find out? Let me interrupt you for a second and ask you-are you reading this without any distraction? Is your mind totally focused on what you are reading? Are you not thinking of anything else? Are you drawing your own conclusions before finishing reading? Are you peaceful and reflecting upon what is being said and why? Sadly, this is not true for a large majority and that is our failure. Quiz Your Friendships - Who Is Playing Games?  By : CD Mohatta Game playing is as old as civilization. Positive games enhance the relationship, while negative games can damage the relationship. Let me give you an example of positive game. You know that one of your friends is suffering from inferiority. You play the game of appreciating him/her at every opportunity. This can help your friend regain self-esteem. This game playing is good. Most of the positive games are played consciously, while a majority of negative games are played subconsciously. Let us talk about one of them. I am better than you and others. This game is played at two levels. I am better at one level and you all have some deficiencies at the other level. Those who need to get self-esteem play this game. They have a very low self esteem and need to prove that they are good. The only way they find is in putting down others and raising ones profile. Quiz - Are You And Your Spouse Best Friends?  By : CD Mohatta Lot of discussion takes place about the difference between friendship and marriage. Two good friends marry at times. But what about married partners, do they become good friends? What are the qualities of friendship that are not found in a marriage ideally every married couple should be best friend of each other. They should share all their secrets, their problems, their laughter and their joy with each other. There is one vital difference between friendship and marriage. A marriage is a legal binding and breaking a marriage takes much more than a friendship. This is the reason that most of us are unguarded about our friendships. There is not much at risk. In marriage the risk is very high. Therefore if the relationship gets little strained, the partners get worried and try to find ways out of the crack. Love Quiz - Are Your Values Same As Your Partner?  By : CD Mohatta We all have many faults. All of us are also striving to live by our values. Values such as honesty, loving, compassion, mercy, and others that have been taught to us since our childhood and that we respect drive many of our actions. Unfortunately with the degradation in social values, personal values are also falling. That apart, the discussion is about the values that you respect and the values that your partner respects-are they common? This question and the answer to this question may well decide the future of your relationship. Let me give you an example. Suppose you believe that small lying or cheating to further your cause is not bad and is acceptable to you. Your partner strongly believes that nothing wrong should be ever done. Will this conflict in values not produce a conflict in relationship, because we live by our values? Those who believe in talking liberty with values may not get that hurt, but those who believe in living by their values at every step can not dream of braking their values for anyone. This produces a value conflict. Forgiving In Relationships  By : CD Mohatta In real life, law rarely forgives any wrong act. In most of the countries law is clear about punishment. We still hear a lot about forgiving in personal relationships. We are told to forgive the major blunders. We are asked to forgive and forget and continue living as if nothing happened. Does that work? To some extent yes, and to some extent no. Most of us who have been hurt in relationship do not wish to forgive at all. The result is that we suffer from the pain all our life. We are advised to forgive so that at least we can feel peaceful. If we do not forgive, our own peace is lost forever and we suffer. Forgiveness is for us. To forgive does not always mean that the abuser can continue with the same behavior. You need not tell the abuser that you have forgiven him/her. Let them suffer for what they did. But by forgiving in your own mind, you get peace. Ecards Can Enhance Your Relationships  By : CD Mohatta We are all looking for ways to keep our relationships strong. We also look for ways to improve the quality of the relationship. The problem is our busy schedule, our priorities and our daily stresses. How to devote minimum time and enhance relationship? Ecards can do that. Let me show you how? What are the normal communications you use with your partner? Suppose your partner is depressed, how much time do you give to her/him to improve the mood? Not much, am I right? Why not send five to six inspirational ecards from your workplace as soon as you get time. Your partner will know that you are worried and also get over the depression by thinking about your concern and getting inspired with the ecards. Break-ups And Guilt  By : CD Mohatta How many break-ups also result in feelings of guilt amongst partners? Please take care of guilt before you break-up. Guilt can be a very damaging feeling and can make any life hell. Those who are full of guilt undergo lot of pain asking for forgiveness everywhere, but fail to forgive themselves. Why guilt? Guilt comes if you have done any wrong that has not been corrected. If you have done wrongs with your partner and refuse to acknowledge them before break-up that will be very painful afterwards. Let me tell you something. Most of us never believe that we have done any wrong. As time passes we realize our wrongs and by that time all is lost. The feelings of guilt therefore take over after that and make life impossible. Break-ups And Guilt  By : CD Mohatta How many break-ups also result in feelings of guilt amongst partners? Please take care of guilt before you break-up. Guilt can be a very damaging feeling and can make any life hell. Those who are full of guilt undergo lot of pain asking for forgiveness everywhere, but fail to forgive themselves. Why guilt? Guilt comes if you have done any wrong that has not been corrected. If you have done wrongs with your partner and refuse to acknowledge them before break-up that will be very painful afterwards. Let me tell you something. Most of us never believe that we have done any wrong. As time passes we realize our wrongs and by that time all is lost. The feelings of guilt therefore take over after that and make life impossible. Quiz- Are You Making These Mistakes In Your Relationship?  By : CD Mohatta Most of us suffer from relationship failure. The tragic truth is that even after suffering from bad relationships, many of us continue the same behavior with the new relationship. Are you doing that? What about your current relationship? Do you think it will succeed or will fail? Let us quiz and find out if you are making mistakes in relationship? Quiz- are you in hurry? Not giving enough time to the relationship to develop love. Expecting results too soon and then getting frustrated. Understanding each other and developing liking for each other takes time. That needs enough interactions to find out more about each other and developing love. Hurrying with this will be premature. Relationship - Will I Get Appreciation Also?  By : CD Mohatta Did I do everything wrong? Did I only destroy? Did I always trouble you? Did I never love you? Was I that bad? Then why did you fall in love with me? Who did all that you used to appreciate? Who was so good that you loved it all the time? Who was that person? Thoughts that hammer our mind when the relationship gives only blame. One remembers that he/she also did something good for the relationship. But as the relationship deteriorates, one partner takes it upon himself/herself to blame mercilessly. The same partner was all appreciation some months back, and the same partner has nothing good to say about the relationship. This is nothing but abuse. This is emotional abuse made to drive a sensible person lunatic. Blame them so much that they are left with no energy to retaliate. The relationship at this stage is maintained only to abuse. If the abuser breaks it totally, whom will she/he accuse and abuse? So they continue with the relationship. They are intoxicated with their sadism. Relationship - Will I Get Appreciation Also?  By : CD Mohatta Did I do everything wrong? Did I only destroy? Did I always trouble you? Did I never love you? Was I that bad? Then why did you fall in love with me? Who did all that you used to appreciate? Who was so good that you loved it all the time? Who was that person? Thoughts that hammer our mind when the relationship gives only blame. One remembers that he/she also did something good for the relationship. But as the relationship deteriorates, one partner takes it upon himself/herself to blame mercilessly. The same partner was all appreciation some months back, and the same partner has nothing good to say about the relationship. This is nothing but abuse. This is emotional abuse made to drive a sensible person lunatic. Blame them so much that they are left with no energy to retaliate. The relationship at this stage is maintained only to abuse. If the abuser breaks it totally, whom will she/he accuse and abuse? So they continue with the relationship. They are intoxicated with their sadism. Relationship Quiz- Is The Honeymoon Over?  By : CD Mohatta There comes a stage in love relationship when the relations mature to a certain level. The initial attraction and knowing about each other is finished. The romance slowly gives way to living with each other and taking the relationship ahead. This phase is fraught with many obstacles as are all the others phases of romantic relationships. The biggest problem after the honeymoon is over is to see the real person. Till the honeymoon is in progress, the lovers make their own image of their beloved. After the honeymoon is over, they get to see the real person. Let us talk about this phase. This is the phase of facing reality. The dream is over and the relationship enters a different phase. Both the lovers want to impose their will on each other. They do not give in easily to each other, but fight for their own point of view. What was once a very sweet voice now becomes a shrill demand. Blames are made and shocking changes occur in the affair. Relationship Quiz - Do You Know About Your Partners Mind?  By : CD Mohatta I was watching him. Sometimes, he was giving a faint smile. Then he started looking at the ceiling and then started changing his feet position while sitting. After that he was sitting still for some more time. Then he got up and left the room. Do you also observe your partner carefully? What do you know about what might be going in his/her mind? Can you predict about her/his thoughts? Many of us believe that we know about our partners and that we are very close. But if your partner sits across you and thinks of something with matching body movements, would you be able to guess about what was in his/her mind? I bet, most of you will fail. I feel very sad saying this, but the truth is that most of us will fail. Why do not you ask your partner to predict about what is in your mind? You will find out yourself. This is tragic for our relationships. Let me tell you how. Relationship Quiz- Are You Angry At Your Partner?  By : CD Mohatta Anger is the natural reaction of helplessness and frustration. When we feel that we are being forced to suffer, we get either angry or feel very helpless. When we feel victimized, we get angry with our abuser. What about your relationship? Are you getting angry with your partner for any reason? Can we quiz on that? Anger with partner can be for various reasons. Your partner has overspent and it has turned your budget haywire. You now feel helpless about how to manage the finances. Your natural reaction is anger at your partner. Why did she/he do this? Relationships - When Love Is Lost?  By : CD Mohatta Watch a cloud in the sky. It seems stationary. Slowly it moves and after sometime, without our realizing, that cloud is gone. Sometimes love disappears from a relationship like that cloud. When the relationship begins, everything looks ok. The communication is great. Not only verbal but also non-verbal communication between the partners is excellent. Slowly the rot sets in and there come a time when they stop communicating except when needed. The communication becomes need based. Earlier it was love based. What is the difference between need based and love based communication? Quiz Your Relationship- Is It Happy And Healthy  By : CD Mohatta We are social animals. We need to relate to others for various reasons; we cannot exist alone happily. We need others to compare, share, give and take and feel together. We make relationships primarily to satisfy our emotional and physical needs. What about the health of the relationship? Is your relationship happy and healthy? In healthy relationship, both the partners are themselves. They keep that freedom with themselves. Freedom is a very important aspect. In a relationship that involves abuse, the abuser takes this freedom away. That is why any abuse makes the relationship very unhealthy. Quiz Your Relationship  By : CD Mohatta You are getting attracted. You think about him/her. You want to be with your object of love. You are showing all the signs of being in love. But is it love? Or is it infatuation that will go away after some time? Let us examine this in little more detail. What is the difference between love and infatuation? The first difference is that infatuation is short lived. It disappears soon. How will you test it? Think about all the qualities that are making you fall in this love. Now think of another person. Imagine that the new candidate has all the qualities in greater measure. Think deeply and imagine as much as you can. Are you still in love, or you are shifting your allegiance to the new candidate? Relationship - Are You Sacrificing More  By : CD Mohatta No relationship is equal give and take. In every relationship, both the partners make adjustments to make the relationship a success. Both give up many choices in life and try to contribute for the continuation of the relationship. Sacrifices are always called for in a healthy relationship. The relationship thrives on them. When we sacrifice we feel good because we feel worthy. Having given up something always makes us feel good. It can also make us feel bad, if it goes on from one side and the other partner not even acknowledges that. The resentment sets in to the detriment of the relationship. Why Sacrifice- two people cannot relate and live together peacefully, if they set their own conditions of living. They have to draw a common way and sacrifice their own hobbies, interests, and many other interests. Many adjustments have to be made to make a relationship succeed. Relationship - In Love With A Married Person  By : CD Mohatta I have seen this topic in many forums being discussed heatedly. The scenario is thus. Somebody is in love with a married man/woman. The married person is also in love with our man/woman. But does not want to give away the marriage. What should be done? Those who fall in love with a married person get trapped. That is the trap of dishonesty. Such relationships will never be happy. The married person is having dual commitments and is hiding his love from his/her spouse. What use is that marriage? The thought that I am cheating my spouse is enough to kill all the joy. Dishonesty never gives joy. How Open Are You With Your Beloved?  By : CD Mohatta I have read it at many places that why tell your beloved about your past? That may spoil your present relationship. Let me present my thoughts to this. If we are not totally honest and open with our beloved, that means we are not sure about our relationship. That means that we do not have confidence in each other. That means that the relationship is fragile. Why talk about such relationship, which is still fragile. Such a relationship will break for some or other reason. A strong relationship can take any storm. Ina strong relationship, we are ready for some disagreement but know that ultimately things will be same as before. It is like a child ho has got totally soiled. Mother may scold the child but it will be same as before within half an hour. That is a strong relationship. Relationship - Have You Forgotten Your Desires To Keep Your Partner Happy?  By : CD Mohatta I used to paint when I was young. I was a dancer. I loved hiking. I loved outdoor sports and so it goes on. I used to be is the common theme. I have forgotten about all that, because my partner does not like that? Or our relationship much more demand? Or my partner demands more than I do? Or my partner does not care about my hobbies? Many relationships destroy a persons desires. This problem has to be looked at from the point of both the partners. Women are anyway expected to give up more to look after family. If her husband is callous about her satisfaction of doing what she wants the situation becomes worse for her. Many budding talents are not allowed to grow because of the sacrifice their relationship demands. This depends on the partners attitude. If the partner understands, he/she will find ways to help other realize the dreams and fulfill desires. If the partner is self-centered, this will not happen. Love - Are You Similar To Each Other?  By : CD Mohatta How similar are you with your partner? Agreed that both of you are in love, and enjoy each other's togetherness. You like each other and want to live together till you die. You may say that you love him/her with your body and soul. What about similarities between both of you? Is your love result of these similarities? Or despite few similarities you love each other? Similarities affect relationship to some extent and are important to discuss. Work interest - Do you have common work interest? Are you qualified in the same stream? or your work interests are different? Common work interests lead to better understanding, but this is not very important. Relationship - Test If You Are Feeling Crushed  By : CD Mohatta Is your relationship becoming uncomfortable? Are you no longer enjoying the relationship? Do you not understand what might be going wrong, but you can sense it? You are not happy, but cannot pin point the cause of unhappiness. You want to get away from the relationship but are arguing for and against and getting tired of the whole thing. This is a typical; sign of getting crushed and facing confusion in the relationship. Let us discuss more about how this happens. I will give one example- your partner is with you. Your partner is not contributing any positives to the relationship. She/he keeps complaining that you are the cause of their unhappiness and discomfort. You wonder how when the ball is in the other court? She/he does not understand what ever you are trying to communicate. You get angry and try to explain again only to get further frustrated. If you talk of separation you are told that they will not be able to live alone. They want to be with you. Get all the comforts from you. They care nothing about your comfort. They blame you for everything that goes wrong. They understand no communication or act as if they don't understand. You want to run away from it all, but they make you feel guilty of doing something terribly wrong by that. You simply do not know what to do and are at your wits end. You feel crushed. Relationship Test - Are You Happier Being Alone?  By : CD Mohatta Many of us are of the types who are happy being alone. If such persons enter into any relationship it will invariably fail. Such loners want to be left alone and want no responsibility of others nor want others to take any responsibility of their. Are you one of them? Have you thought about this? Let us find out more. What are the main characteristics of such people? The first is total independence. They want total independence both at home and even at work. They may leave many jobs unless they find one where no one bothers them. They want to live at home on their own terms. They dislike being told by anyone about how things should be done. Their self-esteem does not permit this. They cannot develop healthy relationships because they never tell others about what should be done. They never bother about how others perform nor want to get tied up with one person. They feel very uncomfortable if they have to do that. Relationship Test - Are You Continuing Without Pleasure?  By : CD Mohatta A relationship should be like a flowing river. Fresh, moving around and finding ways around obstacles. Enjoying a relationship should never be like a still pond of water that just exists. A relationship should have life and should never be a compromise. But many relationships become like a pond. They began like river but are now stationary wondering where to go, and whether to exist at all. But they continue existing without any pleasure. The main reason is the inability of partners to face the uncertainty of breaking the relationship. Relationship Test - Are You Continuing Without Pleasure?  By : CD Mohatta A relationship should be like a flowing river. Fresh, moving around and finding ways around obstacles. Enjoying a relationship should never be like a still pond of water that just exists. A relationship should have life and should never be a compromise. But many relationships become like a pond. They began like river but are now stationary wondering where to go, and whether to exist at all. But they continue existing without any pleasure. The main reason is the inability of partners to face the uncertainty of breaking the relationship. Relationship Test - Are You Continuing Without Pleasure?  By : CD Mohatta A relationship should be like a flowing river. Fresh, moving around and finding ways around obstacles. Enjoying a relationship should never be like a still pond of water that just exists. A relationship should have life and should never be a compromise. But many relationships become like a pond. They began like river but are now stationary wondering where to go, and whether to exist at all. But they continue existing without any pleasure. The main reason is the inability of partners to face the uncertainty of breaking the relationship. Friendship Test- Do Friends Love Talking To You?  By : CD Mohatta You must be having a large group of friends. You also deal with many people in your job or business. You interact with people at every stage of your life. Do you find that you love talking to one person and avoid talking to another? You must have noticed that. What is the difference between these two persons? Why do you enjoy talking to one of them and avoid talking to another? What about yourself? Have you thought about that? We enjoy talking to people who have the following qualities - Love Test - Are You Getting Attracted To Another Person?  By : CD Mohatta Let us look at a scenario. You are in love and you have progressed in relationship. Both of you are happy with each other and plan to think of future. And a third person enters your life. You are in love with that person. You find animal magnetism in that new entrant and feel quite helpless. You wish to break up with your old flame and develop relationship with the new. You are getting confused about what you should do? This is not very unusual. Many marriages have been broken because of this. Many relationships got destroyed because of this. The failure to understand what is happening and the failure of right judgment may leave both the earlier partners destroyed. Let us look at this situation in detail and discuss the options. Relationship- Will You Grow Together Till Old Age?  By : CD Mohatta In today's age for a couple to think of growing together till old age looks difficult. The rate at which divorces are taking place and couples separate, it is a difficult task. This was not so, only two three decades ago. The changing norms have taken a big toll on the relationships. How about you? Do you believe that you will grow together till old age? The determination that we would not separate may play a big role. Once you have decided the goal - no separating, you will act towards achieving that goal. Please make this bond with your partner that you will not separate. I wish to add something here. When things are going smoothly, all such promises sound very good. As soon as a crack appears, the same looks very difficult. The need is to take care when the cracks appear. Good Relationships Accelerate Our Growth  By : CD Mohatta A relationship means two people connecting with each other - In profit and in loss, in pleasure and in pain. In a relationship, we know that we have somebody with us. We are not alone. A relationship can be life giving and life changing. Many times in our life, we want to achieve some goals. We have our dreams and our ideas. We never reveal them to anyone. But if we relate to somebody very well, we will tell about this to that person. If our relationship is good, we will get support and encouragement. Please go ahead. I think you are very intelligent and you can do this. You have the capability. I will be with you at every step. Are Friends Happy Being With You?  By : CD Mohatta We all have different style of talking, laughing, smiling, responding and communicating. Some of us are a comfort for others. We enjoy being with some people and we don’t enjoy some people. What is the difference between these persons? Why one persons presence enlivens the gathering an other person dulls it? What are the qualities needed to make one self socially popular? Smile -The very first quality is smile. When we see some body smiling, we feel pleased. And if the smile is without any malice it is more enchanting. Keep smiling. Keep your problems with yourself and keep your face smiling. Why Lovers Hurt Their Beloved Most?  By : CD Mohatta A lover, who claims to love, can never hurt his/her beloved. Love demands that you care utmost for your beloved. You are concerned about their feelings. You make them as comfortable as possible. You keep them as happy as possible. You help them fulfill their dreams. You encourage them during tough times and you are always there for them. If you don't do this, there will be nothing called as love. The definition of love includes the qualities I mentioned. This does happen. In many relationships it happens all through the life. Such couples need not worry to know about heaven. Their home is heaven. But in some relationships, if a lover wishes to break away for any reason including feelings of being treated unjust, the results will be harrowing. Do You Have Faith In Your Partner?  By : CD Mohatta Faith is one of the biggest assets. Most of us have faith in God. That means that we always believe that god will help us whenever we call on him. That God will be always support us. That god loves us and wants us to grow. God will never leave us alone. This faith is the greatest strengths of many of us. What about your partner? Do you have this kind of faith in him/her? Many will answer that I have that faith in my partner. That is good. At least they have that faith. Many of you will not be sure about the answer and quite many know that they cannot have faith in their partner. Does your partner have faith in you? Why don't you ask this question and find out the answer? Please ask him/her - Darling, suppose I have someone else in my life for a short time and then come to you and confess will our relations remain the same? Will you forgive me and forget what I did and accept me? Will we be together as we are today? The answer may differ from person to person, but you will rarely find a partner who accepts this. Relationship Renewal  By : CD Mohatta Relationship renewal day will be celebrated on 4th May. This is the day to renew and bring new freshness in relationships. What does this mean? Why do relationships go dull and bad some times? Can bad relationships be renewed? Let us talk about all these. Most of the relationships go through phases. In the beginning the relationship is full of care and love. The partners/spouses show extreme love and concern for each other. Till then they have not found out the differences. They crop up after some time. There are few ways the difference crop up. One may be expectations. The other may be- I am being used complex. The third may be- probably we are not right for each other. Let us find out how to bring a new life to the relationship that is suffering because of the problems I mentioned and other problems. How To Make A Relationship Last?  By : CD Mohatta For a relationship to last, there are few basic requirements. The rapidity with which relationships are breaking in the modern days is a matter of concern and we should try to find out how to make a relationship that lasts for a long time. The major factors that affect the survival of a relationship are as below - Selection Of Partner - Sometimes, our selection of partner may be wrong. We may have nothing in common and our values and goals may be very different. With bad selection from the beginning, no relationship can survive for long. One of the main reasons of wrong partner selection may be hurry in selection of partner and inattention to the true nature of the selected partner. Test If Your Love Will Stand Rough Spots?  By : CD Mohatta After the initial euphoria of love gets over, lovers start thinking about what troubles them. For example, your partner may always be coming late to meet you. you never told him/her about that till now. You feel that now you must tell, because you cannot bear waiting every time. You are troubled by a habit of your darling. But that was always ignored in the initial euphoria of knowing each other and developing relationship. You want to point out about that habit now. Test If Your Love Will Stand Rough Spots?  By : CD Mohatta After the initial euphoria of love gets over, lovers start thinking about what troubles them. For example, your partner may always be coming late to meet you. you never told him/her about that till now. You feel that now you must tell, because you cannot bear waiting every time. You are troubled by a habit of your darling. But that was always ignored in the initial euphoria of knowing each other and developing relationship. You want to point out about that habit now. Friendship - An Invaluable Asset  By : CD Mohatta Friendship is a great asset. But Much under valued and always taken for granted. Why? Because everybody has friends, rather most of us have. In comparison, money is valued a lot, because not all of us have it. But friendship can at times prove to be a bigger and better asset than money. To have a true friend is the greatest comfort in the world. Even if you lose all your money, your friend will remain with you. Your friend will support you when you need it most. He/she will do it without your asking for it. Because that is friendship. When we are born, our greatest friend is our mother. She takes care of us under all circumstances and protects us at times by giving away her life. Friendship is like that. Your Friendship Personality  By : CD Mohatta What kind of friend you are? What kind of friends do you have? Whether your friendships will last? Can you make good friends? Are you a true friends? There are many questions about friendship. Why not try quizzes to find out about your friendship personality? You will enjoy trying quizzes and sharing with your friends. What do I mean by friendship personality? Do you remember meeting people, you never liked right from first meeting? And there were some you loved right from the word-Go. There is an attraction and openness about some people which we like and we want to become friends with them. They are honest and reliable. They look like caring persons and have good values. We love them for that. Such people can be relied upon. We feel that such friends will be with us and will always be there for us. We also enjoy their togetherness and personality. You will find their faces smiling most of the times and such people avoid making fun of friends. Relationships And Poor Communication  By : CD Mohatta To communicate means to tell about our feelings, and our thoughts. When we communicate, our words may not say precisely what is in our mind, but when somebody takes our body language and words together, he/she can probably find out what we really want to communicate. Understanding communication and making communication is both an art and a science. But it is not very difficult to learn. Relationships thrive on good communication. When both the partners know exactly what is in the other's mind, a relationship proceeds smoothly. For example, if a partner is lethargic and keeping quiet, that also communicates something. That has to be understood by the other partner. Once both the partners understand the hidden signs and the precise meaning of what is being said, they can develop a very healthy relationship. People feel good if some body understands them. They get irritated if somebody does not understand them. Irrespective of their own bad communication, they want people to understand them. Here lies the clue to communication and relationships. Are You Lovable?  By : CD Mohatta This looks like an awkward question. We will confess that he/she is not lovable? But the truth is that many of us are not lovable at all. Can you imagine of a small kid? A kid is always lovable. Why? If we can answer that question, we will solve the puzzle about whether we are lovable or not. A kid is innocent. Knows nothing and is totally defenseless. You love a kid, because he/ she wants you to protect him/her. You love a kid because of innocence. You love the kid because of the smiling face. You love the kid because the kid has no malice towards anyone. Does not desire any thing bad for any one. Recognizes no enemies and has faith in everyone. The kid is totally free of all negative emotions. That is why we all love a kid. Test Your Relationship  By : CD Mohatta All of our relationships are multi faceted. Whether it is marital relationship or a love relationship, all have dimensions that make them go through ups and downs in our life. a relationship essentially develops between two persons and that is the reason of these changes. If one person is feeling bad for some reason, the relationship will suffer. There are three factors in a relationship - You, the person you are relating with and the type of relationship. Is there any method to test the relationships? Will that help? Let us find out. There are few websites that offer tests and quizzes. Attempt all the quizzes on relationships and find out your answers. Ask your mate to do the same and find the answers. Compare your answers and try to find questions that were answered differently by both of you. That will tell you something about the areas your relationship may encounter friction. Strengthen Friendships With Ecards  By : CD Mohatta Friendship is the biggest asset for us. How can we strengthen such friendships with ecards? Let us find out. A true friend is at times more valuable than anybody else. Because he/she truly cares for us. We in turn care for such a friend and both sides are always sure that they will never be left alone in a crisis or at the time of need. How to strengthen such a friendship? Remember friendship is like a river. If water does not flow in constantly from the source the river will dry. In the same way friendship has to be fed with water of love and affection. In the modern days, it is difficult to meet a friend regularly. The work and home takes more time and little time is left for friends. Today the world demands speed and that keeps all of us busy. Ecards are a good way to keep in touch with a true friend everyday and nurture the friendship continuously. Let us see how. Love - Balance Emotions And Intelligence  By : CD Mohatta Love is euphoric. Love is enchanting. Love is heavenly. Love is captivating. And Love is something no one can describe. Love has to be felt, it cannot be explained. One cannot fall in love by planning; one just falls in love without realizing. That is love. And love also takes intelligence away like nothing can. In love, the most intelligent person may act foolishly, because love overwhelms. What if you fall in romantic love? It is the beginning of your love and you have no thoughts in your mind except those of your darling. You are dreaming of making a home with her/him and living happily ever after. You are planning, discussing and dreaming. You are as much away from the reality of life as much as day is away from night. You get married. Your friends gather. Your family gathers. There is celebration. The couple looks great. They look to be in so much love with each other. You feel like the luckiest person on the earth. And then you announce divorce after a year. Why? Is He Just A Friend Or He Loves You?  By : CD Mohatta This is a common situation. You know many men. Some of them are friends. Out of them one wants to be more than a friend with you. But he does not know how to tell you that? Are there any signs that will tell you that he is interested in you? Let us try to find out. Friends always talk to each other freely. They laugh, make fun of each other and occasionally speak with each other in not a very civil way. If that man is interested in you, he will do none of this. Forget talking freely, he will find it difficult to speak to you. You will sometimes catch him looking at you intently, but as soon as you turn towards him, he will turn away. He would never make it obvious that he was watching you. If any time some body makes fun of you, you will find everybody joining the fun, but not this man. He would rather look at the fun maker with anger. If any time you knock yourself against any object, others may ignore that, but not your hero. He will surely come and ask you if he can help. Friendship Day - Bury Old Enmity  By : CD Mohatta Friendship day is celebrated on August 7, every year. It is a day to wish our friends and meet and have fun together. Can we use this day for something else? That is to bury enmity? Please go back to your school days and trace your friends till now. You will find few persons, with who you were good friends, but on the way because of some tiffs or misunderstandings, the friendship turned to enmity. You no longer remained friends after that. Are you happy about that? The wounds of what happened may still be raw and you may have no desire to make friends with those people again. You might even hate them. Does this help us in our life? Our wounds hurt us most. We stop our growth with negative thoughts and emotions. What if you were friends again? Would you not feel good? Recollect anytime, when you have donated anything to a charity. What did you feel at that time? You felt very good, isn't it? How about giving friendship in charity to some old friends who have turned enemies? Are You Satisfied With Your Mate?  By : CD Mohatta My idea of home is everything at the right place. His idea is to litter around as much as possible. I love to read, he prefers to go to movies. I love to party, she prefers a cozy dinner for two. I love what they call junk food and she wants organic vegetarian. And so it goes. Both the partners are so different in every thing, that one wonders how they ever came together. What can one talk about such relationships? Many of us are involved in such relationships. One of the partner is a genius and the other could barely pass through the exams. How do such relationships develop and how do they survive? Such relationships developed because both loved each other because of the differences. The differences attracted them. They found each other so different to each other that it was something exciting for them. They loved each other for these differences and so they came to enjoy life as if it was some exciting trip to unknown destinations. Friendship - Who Is A True Friend?  By : CD Mohatta We all have friends. A lot gets talked about friendships. Everyone wants a true friend, and many of us believe that we have a friend who can be called a true friend. What kind of relations do friends share? When can we call a friend a true friend, and when can our friends take us as their true friend. After a romantic relationship, friendships are the most important relationships we can have. Though all of us have family and distant family, most of us rely on friends for advice, comfort and inspiration. How do we define a relation that can be called as one of true friendship? The very first sign of a very good friend, not necessarily a true friend is that we are not worried about courtesies. You will call your friend at any hour and talk without any thought of time in your mind. Similarly, whenever you need support, you will call a very good friend and ask him/her to help you out. They expect the same from you. Another important trait of such relations is that we are not much worried about exposing ourselves. We speak about everything in our mind without worrying about what our friends will think. We are sure that they will take our talk in the spirit it was made. We are unguarded and open with friends in our talk. Reconcile Before It Is Too Late  By : CD Mohatta I had a bad fight yesterday and today he/she is no more. How do I say sorry now? It is too late. But I never thought that this would happen to him/her. So healthy. A small pain in the chest that increased and before medical help could arrive he/she was dead. Now what do I do. But you know, I was right yesterday. But it all sounds like a nightmare now. Oh, God, this guilt will never go away. How does one say sorry to a dead body even if one was right? Have you ever come across such a talk any time in your life? Reconciliation Day is generally celebrated on April 2nd. This day comes especially so that we reconcile with all of those with who we have some tiff or grudge and have strained the relationship. The common meaning of reconciliation is to patch up or to resolve and bring the situation back to normal. Will You Survive A Relationship Breakdown?  By : CD Mohatta Relationships connect us in this world with each other. We have many kinds of relationships-parental, sibling, friends, professional and love. We go through many phases in all these relationships. Ups and downs are part of our life and our relationships. Most of us can bear break down in most of the above relationships except those of love. Why? Who will survive a breakdown in romantic relationship and who will get shattered? Let us discuss. The higher the attraction, the higher will be the shock. The closer you are, the break up will give you more shock. It is very simple equation. But let us remember that life is not made of equations and emotions do not behave mathematically. So it all boils down to personality. There are some who expect the relationship to break sooner or later. They are pessimists and call themselves practical. These people are never surprised if the relationship breaks. They may wonder about the reasons but will not suffer trauma. Friendships - Does Difference In Wealth Hurt Or Help?  By : CD Mohatta During our school days, most of us are not concerned about the families our friends come from. One of our classmates may be from the richest family of the world, but that would not make much difference in our friendship. This thought process changes as we grow. We become conscious of our social standing and compare that to our friends as we grow. Some friendships do not survive because of a wide difference in the wealth of the families, where as some friendships thrive irrespective of all these factors. They are like fairy tale friendships. Should we look around and make friends with people similar to us in wealth and other social parameters? Can a gardener's son make friend with the son /daughter of the owner of the mansion? Is that good? Will that friendship survive? Let us examine. Friendship depends on the personal equation between two people. It is an emotional bond that does not depend upon money or other such external factors. On the positive side, if you are a poor person and if your best friend is a very rich person, that psychology of money can help you become rich yourself. Friendship- Do You Value?  By : CD Mohatta Friendship is a gift of God. Some of us are blessed with good friends. But as it happens, these friendships are taken for granted in some cases and not valued. It is similar to a case of two couples. Say one has no child even after many years of marriage and the other has many children, more than they can manage. What do you think? Will the couple with many children value the children as much as the couple which has none? Everything is relative in life. We value what we don't have and give less valuable to what is freely available with us. Friendship is one such relationship.Why should we value friendships? What qualities does a good friend bring in our relationship that makes the friendship so valuable? Let us examine some of these. Judgment - a good friend is rarely judgmental. We can be open in our behavior with our good friends because we know that they will not judge us. We can enjoy this freedom only with friends. It is nothing short of a blessing, because with other people our actions and behavior are always calculated and guarded and that takes away lot of pleasure from our life. Are You Made For Each Other  By : CD Mohatta The couple was walking on the sidewalk. They looked to be totally absorbed with each other. They were not speaking to each other, but a glance at them could tell that they were in deep love and were made for each other. What is this mystical quality of being made for each other? What qualities does this kind of relationship have? Are all the choices same? Or as we say in science, opposites attract. So the choices are totally different? Will a couple having different choices in every aspect love each other or fight over the choices? We can say that at least most of the choices should be very common. If I say that my partner and I are made for each other, what I must mean is this - he/she is the right person for me. There is no other person in the world other than him/her who can make a better couple with me. We are happiest being together and our happiness comes from our relationship. Are choices the only factor that matter in our life? Is it enough if my eating habits, my dressing choices, my color preferences, my weather preferences and all my other likings are same as my partner, we are made for each other? Is that all to the relationship supposed to be made for each other? There must be something more? What can be that? Let us find out. Promises - Never Break Them In A Relationship  By : CD Mohatta What is a promise? It is a pledge or an assurance given by one person to other that he/she will act exactly as promised. The other person can rest assured that the promise will not be broken under any circumstances. In this case, circumstances word is very significant. Because even if the promise is made in total sincerity, the circumstances are taken as an excuse for breaking them. At times, the cost of keeping the promise unbroken can be very high. But no matter what is that cost, the breaking of a promise is a bigger sin. By breaking a promise, we hurt the other party. We kill the faith of the other party in humanity and its words. One must think about the value of the promise for the one to whom it was made. Why do we promise something to someone? Because both the parties agree that if the promise is broken, the other person will be hurt. Why is the promise accepted? The promise is accepted only if one who makes the promise is believed to be a truthful and honest person. No one believes upon the promises made by liars. Jealousy In Relationships  By : CD Mohatta This is a common theme that is discussed by those who are in love, or by their friends. Why does one feel jealous? Is the relationship weak? If the relationship is strong, should one feel jealous at all? Or it is one's genes? I mean, if I am very sure that I love a girl and I am totally committed to her, and I believe that she is equally in love with me, why should I feel jealous? Or why should she feel jealous? But jealousy is a fact of life. Let us examine more of jealousy. Let us take a simple example. Say, your child loves one of your neighbors and she is equally attentive to him/her. Would you feel jealous of that or proud about that? Would you try to take away your child from the neighbor? Would you confront the neighbor? You may do nothing like this, if I am not wrong in my analysis. But what if your child is replaced by your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend? Your reaction may be entirely different. If yes, why? What is the difference in both the situations? Do You Have Good Friends  By : CD Mohatta Friends are a gift of God. If we have good friends, we should assume that God has showered us with His unlimited grace. What does a good friend mean? What are the differences between ordinary friends and good friends? What is friendship? Let us begin our enquiry by asking about what is friendship? Can it be defined? What is the relationship of friendship? What qualities does this relationship have? When two persons share common interests, care for each other, enjoy being together and help each other, they are called as friends. Is this a correct definition? It broadly covers the areas of friendship. Do We Relate Differently With Family Compared To Friends  By : CD Mohatta So many times, you will hear from someone that they are so and so. They are from the xyz family. They would say. Their family is famous for this and this, they would add. Family and a strong sense of belonging to our last name is important to many of us. Even if someone’s great great grandfather/grandmother was distantly related to the monarch of that country or a very rich family, ages ago, one remembers that and recollects that fact with pride. Common blood stream coming down the ages makes a big difference to a lot of us. Leave aside common people, in this modern age, even kings and queens are decided by heredity and not by qualities. I will talk of an imaginary situation. Say, I have a cousin, who I meet once a year. And I have a friend, with whom I share all my successes and failures and meet at least once a week. If a quirk of fate is drowning both and I am given the choice of saving only one of them, whom shall I chose? My decision will be dependent on my sense of belonging to common family and the value I put to my friendship. This decision may be tough to make, but I will have to make it and live with it for the rest of my life. What would you do, if such a situation arises in your life? Friendship And Love  By : CD Mohatta Friendship and love. Both are so much related to each other. And both are so dissimilar! What are the differences between friendship and love? Is platonic friendship possible between persons of opposite sex? Let us try and understand. What is friendship? Why do we call a person our friend? When do we call someone a very good friend? If we care for a person, if we are always ready to help that person and if we share most of our thoughts with a person, they are our good friends. We can always count upon our good friends in an emergency. We are always sure that our friend will understand why we acted in a certain way. We need not explain anything to our very good friends. The friendship is so deep and the relationship is so intimate, that most of the things are automatically understood by our friends. Can Love Destroy  By : CD Mohatta The title of this article is a little shocking, Isn't it? Because no one can think of love and destruction together. But love does destroy. How? Let us examine. There is a story of a prince in India. He was in great love with his wife and never wanted to be without her. One day, an enemy kingdom attacked him, but the prince did not want to go out and fight. He did not want to be away from his princess. The princess realized this and she asked the prince to go out for a minute. After sometime, a maid brought the head of princess to the prince with the dying message of the princess. 'Let our love not destroy you. You are a prince and you must save your state from the enemies. I am giving up my life so that you can carry out your duties properly.' Does this small story tell us anything? What lessons can we draw from this? How To Forget The Past Relationship  By : CD Mohatta The past that refuses to go away casts its shadow very long into the present and the future. Many of us have had break ups in the past and now desire to go forward . Something destroys every new relationship. What is that? Because if you find that your every new relationship is breaking apart, you will start searching for faults in yourself. The truth may lie somewhere else. What happens after a break up? When Cupid Hits  By : CD Mohatta I used to live a simple, happy life. I call it happy, but it was more of a peaceful life. Happiness has different meanings at different times. Till a woman gives birth, she does not know what is happiness of being in love with the child. Is it not true? It was same with me. Talking of love, I had read quite a lot in books and seen many movies. But love, the emotion was unknown to me. Then I fell in love and my world changed suddenly. I cannot say that I used to see stars in bright sun light, but I can surely say that for me the days became as lovely as the nights. We used to share everything. I used to read my poetries to her on telephone and she listened. That simple sharing was heavenly. The same ice cream used to taste totally differently when we used to share from the same cup. What she bought for me was commonly available in the shops, but I used to wear those clothes as if they were directly delivered fro heaven. I can go on and on about what all we shared and loved. As I said before that I had read about love, but did not know about it. I came to know about love only after falling in love. The Funny Side Of Saying - I Love You  By : CD Mohatta Love, the feeling that makes a person new and feel heavenly. Love, a feeling that changes life within a moment. Have we not heard of love at first sight? One who was happy go lucky in the morning, gets deep and dreamy looks in the eyes by the time the evening arrives. What happened? He/she fell in love during the day and now does not know what to do? The very first response of such people is dreaming. They have dreams during the night and more often during the day. They lose all attention to their work and the only work left for them is to think of their latest sweetheart. Then begins the planning of where to meet again? How to spot that lovely person again? Through friends, or what? Depends on where the love was found at the first place. After getting few glimpses more, the love deepens and the dreams become more frequent. But at the same time, fear sets in. What if the other party refuses to reciprocate? What if the other one does not like me? So looks are given immediate attention. 'What if the other party is already in love with someone? That will be horrible. Let me not think of that at all. And if it comes to that, I will move heavens to win my love.' Romantic Feelings  By : CD Mohatta Romance, the eternal subject for most of the poets. Romance, the life giving force. Romance, that changes perceptions and romance makes a dull night a night of poetic thoughts. Romance turns an ordinary flower into a lover's gift to be preserved forever. Romance produces letters that are saved for generations. Romance makes everything look happy and cheerful. Romantic feelings change perception. One who had never thought of reading a poetry, begins writing one. That is romance. One who is in romantic love, will have no complaints with the world. Even if the traffic does not move for hours, the romantic lover excuses everyone. That is romance. Lies kill hearts  By : CD Mohatta One who speaks a lie hurts. Only truth gives life and peace. A lie always hurts. Even the smallest lie hurts. It hurts one to whom the lie has been spoken, and surely the person who speaks the lie. In today's world lies are taken as way of life. Those who speak lies, bury morality so deep down somewhere, that no one can find it. These people with black hearts speak lies and sometimes they lie to the extent that it kills one who believes them. Speaking a lie is betraying trust. To speak a falsehood to one who believes that truth is being spoken, is sinful. Society may not punish liars, but there is the law of karma, that punishes the liar. But what of the pain that a liar gives to one who trusted her/him?

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